Kart's fantastical journey!

Married

I'm sorry everyone. I should've stayed a little longer, but I just couldn't. I was a bad teacher, an adult that didn't deserve to be idolized by her students. If I earned that, then I wouldn't have deserted my precious students for my own well-being. I left them in the middle of a big town, all alone so I could satisfy my needs. It's true, I am the protagonist in my life, but that doesn't mean I can just not worry about the things happening in the background. I left Isabella, a student who worked so hard, behind. She looked up to me, and I understood her too. I am not allowed to say this, but it won't matter anymore. I am retiring from my teaching position. Jazz Doodles will understand my decision.
Isabella Peaceshine. She was something else. She wasn't like all the other students, no, she was completely different. A beautiful girl who reminded me a lot of my own daughter. I am sure she would have grown up to be exactly like her. Having been in Isabella's presence made me realise how much I started forgetting my past. I am dissociating from my true self. I am neglecting my deceased daughter. I am starting to forget her. I am moving on, by becoming a new person. I am not Empress Kyokarōshi anymore. I am Miss Cat, the unmarried science professor. A mundane woman who is trying to become a different person to find true happiness and accomplishment. But I know that what I am doing is wrong. I am an adult, I have to be strong for the new generation. People look up to adults, I can't make a fool out of myself, or the new generation will be fools because they think that what we do is what they are supposed to do. Humans tend to look up to people, so what I must do is protect them by setting a great example, like an exhibition.
But I can't do it anymore. This world I live in is slowly falling apart. I am succumbing to my own darkness. To my own despair, and that because my only hope in life evanesced right in front of my own two eyes. My daughter fell off the Cliffs of Moher. She wanted to kill herself for me and her father. She thought we would be able to live peacefully if we separated, but she was wrong. The moment I lost her was the moment I lost myself. And the only person who could've helped me during this time was him, but he left me.
My daughter, Pavel, she was a strong girl who didn't understand the meaning of life, her purpose, she thought she was a nuisance. Only because she was a bastard child. It didn't mean that she had no value, girls are important too, no matter if they were a mistake, or an abortion, because every living organism has the right to exist, and so did Pavel, the daughter I didn't deserve.
When Pavel understood life, it had been too late, she was too far gone already, so when she wanted to come back, run into my arms and grow up with me, she fell. Pavel fell, even after understanding life. And her last wish had been for me and Edward to break up and go our own paths. But I am sure she never meant that, because she thought that if we'd break up we'd be happy, but no, we only got sadder, we didn't have each other anymore, we couldn't comfort each other anymore.
Pavel, you wanted us to be happy, so we will be happy.

I promise to find Edward Cat and marry him, because that is my purpose in this meaningless and sorrowful world. I have to marry him and create a family. A happy family.
And so, I returned to Ireland, to the area we raised Pavel in. But not alone.
"Empress..." he looks at me. "How did you find me?"
I brought him with me.
"Pavel." I say. "She led me to you."
I went to London to find Edward, my former partner, the person I am going to marry, the man I was together with for almost 12 years. He is my soulmate, we are meant to be together.
"Pavel wanted us to part ways, she didn't find me, you did." says Edward. "We can't do this, I'm sorry."
"Edward." I say. "She wanted us to be happy. And together we are happy."
Edward eyes me carefully, "It's true, I might still have feelings for you, but Pavel's death made me gain countless scars. I can't do this."
"We will never move on if we don't finish what we've started. We were so young back then, we had sex without thinking properly."
"Empress, don't you understand that we made Pavel live an empty life? We brought her to existence and made her suffer. She thought that her being alive was her fault, even though the child is never responsible for the parents's mistakes. Pavel was tortured by us for 11 years, until she died knowing why. She died exactly then when she wanted to continue living. She was ready to die all this time, but when she wasn't, that's when she died."
"Therefore, we have to marry." I say.
He looks at me viciously, "What is wrong with you?"
"Everything is, the moment I met you, the moment I made you rule me, that's when my life changed. And I want to let you continue living with me. Let's marry and create a family together. Then I will finally not be Empress Kyokarōshi anymore. I will finally be Empress Cat officially. I won't need to fake my identity anymore. And when we are married and have a family, Pavel will finally be able to rest safely, knowing we'd be happy with our new life. And we could move on. We will remember Pavel for eternity, and we will still live happily with our new kids and Pavel inside our heart."
Edward plays around with his fingers and observes our old house we used to live in with Pavel, the locus everything started at. We've been suffering for over a decade.
"Are you sure this is the right option?" he says.
I answer slowly, "There is no right or wrong path. We just have to believe in hope and wish for a bright future of truth."
"Okay," Edward holds my hand. "I trust you, let's get married, for real now."
I look him in the eyes, "Yes...

...let's start a family we can be proud of."