Kart's fantastical journey!

Colours

"She's so gross."
"Why does she even come to school? Did you see her face? Does she even shower?"
"Her existence bothers me."
"I wonder why she's trying so hard, no one likes her."
"She should just...

...die."

Hello, my name is Sweet Wartalon. I am a student at Seonhwa Middle School, and I am not deaf, but I act like I am, because I'm tired. I hear everything they say.

"She's disgusting."
"I can't believe we have a monstrosity like this attending Seonhwa Middle School!"
"She should just leave, she will never make it to university."
"Her name is weird."
"She should have been...

...aborted."

I have been bullied ever since I enrolled into this school. I'm not sure why they had to pick on me, but I am guessing it's because my schoolmates are bored, and they can't bully their friends, so they search for the weakest link in the class, which is me.
I don't have any friends, and I don't need any. Most of them are fake anyways.
If you don't fit the beauty standards, you get mocked, and if you do fit them, you're popular. So you may wonder, what would happen to a popular student who would become ugly due to an accident? They get left behind. That's what happened to my best friend Lia Park.
We've been together since primary school. I love her, and she loves me. Lia is pretty, and I am normal-looking. We are just ordinary kids who enjoy life without questioning anything.
However, we were both raised differently. Lia had strict parents who prohibited her from doing almost everything. She had to study a lot, and when she wanted to hang out, I helped her by making up lies. My parents even helped me. They know that Lia's parents are mean, so they talk to them. Lia's parents want her to go to a good high school and then university, so she has to study a lot. Little do they know, forcing their child to do things they don't appreciate can cause severe mental issues, and that's what Lia has.
Me, on the other hand, I have nice, and ordinary parents. They care about me and my little brother a lot. They aren't as strict as Lia's parents, but they do care about our household and politeness a lot. My parents are like a dream to me, and Lia's parents are a nightmare. Overall, my parents only wish for me and my brother Joon to be happy, and that's what matters to me. I want Lia to be happy too.
If only I could have been there for her.
When we entered middle school, Lia got really popular and started neglecting me. I was okay with that. I wanted her to experience a proper high school life, so I let her.
However, I should have stopped her. Lia's grades started decreasing. She didn't get perfect scores anymore, which in my opinion is okay, but not for her parents. Lia was punished.
After school, I had a talk with Lia, I wanted to console her. Lia told me she was fine, but I didn't believe her.
Luckily, she gave in and told me what happened at home. Her parents hit her with a stick and Lia finally fought back. Nonetheless, her guardians said that they are only being strict to her for her own benefit. They want Lia to succeed in life and come far. But she doesn't want that anymore. Lia Park has a boyfriend now.
Of course her parents weren't happy to hear that, and they locked her out. As soon as I found out, I advised her to sleep over at my house with me, Joon and my parents.
Luckily, she agreed. I also suggested calling the police, but Lia disagreed. I thought it was important because her parents weren't strict, they were abusive. Lia never realized it, and it's quite obvious. Her parents must be manipulative, making her think there is nothing else in this world but mightiness. Lia managed to make a crack through her brainwashing and come to the cognition that the world is much more different than her parents had portrayed it to be. She's suffering under domestic abuse and something else. If I had interrogated her more closely, I would have found out that something else sooner, and I could have stopped Lia from taking another step.

"Hi, Lia." I waved at her.
Lia Park was sitting at her desk, studying, "Oh, hi Sweet."
We were alone in the classroom. It was the perfect time to talk to her. Everything was bright and colourful. My world is purple, pink, red, orange...
"Sweet?" Lia eyed me weirdly. Lia is coloured gray and I am red.
"How are you?" I asked.
She replied upset, "Fine, you?"
There is a bit of green inside of me.
"Lia." I said. "I'm not here for small talk...could you help me out with this math equation?"
"..." Lia nodded.
She was suspicious of me. She had every right to be, because I wasn't going to ask her about a math problem, it was something else that I couldn't ask her because...

...the glaring eyes outside of the classroom pierced me when I had gotten closer to Lia Park. The inside of the classroom is bright and shiny, and the hallway is dark and black. I don't see any blue. I can only discern eyes looking at me. Lia Park doesn't see them. They were jealous that I could talk to her so freely. And I was scared.

"Do you get it now?" asked Lia.
"...thanks." I said and walked back.
"Meet me at the rooftop."
I halted, "Hm?"
"Please." Lia's eyes were watery and glowing in blue.
It seems only I noticed the eyes outside of the classroom.

"Why did you ask me to come up here?" I asked Lia Park.
"..."
"The rooftop is usually closed, how did you get it open? Permission from the the teachers?" I asked.
"I stole it." said Lia Park.
"Huh..? You cleptomaniac...haha..." I was stunned.
I didn't expect a model student to steal something from the teachers. But, oh well, if she had something she wanted to tell me, I was ready to listen.
"Sweet." said Lia finally. "There is more I didn't tell you."
"Yeah, what is it?" I asked.
"I am not alive." said the now blue Lia.
thud.

"Yesterday, a 15 year old girl was found dead on the asphalt of Seonhwa Middle school. It is presumed that she jumped from the rooftop. A suicide."

Lia Park died. She wasn't just abused by her parents. She had also been sexually assaulted by some men who ended up raping her. Lia's parents had found out about it in the fight they had close before her death, and that was why they kicked her out. Lia had been bullied behind my back. She wasn't popular, I was.

And now I am blamed by everyone. I am the reason Lia Park died, they say. They think I pushed her. And that's when the bullying started.
It wasn't just gossiping. It was more. I don't want to think about it anymore, only that I was a bad friend. I never noticed Lia's problems. I acknowledged nothing. That's why I am read and not yellow or orange.

I am on the rooftop. It's Friday evening. No one should be at school anymore.
I took off my shoes and placed them next to me. I then climbed the railing and just stood there.
This is where Lia Park jumped that day. She pushed me to the side so I couldn't stop her and jumped without hesitation. Lia must have really not cared about anything anymore. At that moment in life, I didn't know it was possible to be apathetic, but now I know how it feels. The eternal emptiness lingering inside of you, not giving you a choice to rehabilitate.
I guess this story is only sad to me, because if I look into the distance, I only see black.
I lift one of my legs and walk over the abyss.
I felt the wind tickle me. I guess life might not be that bad, but either way, I think it's better if I reincarnate. I'm tired. Even though I don't want to die, I want to leave South Korea, but how? I love it here, but I want to discover the world. Especially knowing that my mother is Irish wants to make me travel to Ireland and live there.
"Hey."
"..."
"Don't jump."
I turned around.
"Oh..." I smiled. "Lia Park."
She smiled gray.
"I won't do it, I promise." I said and looked back. The distance was now coloured in many weird colours. Even the sky wasn't blue anymore. Every colour is mixed in my world. It's all turning brown slowly.
"I won't jump today, but I will when the day comes. I am just not ready yet."
"No," she said. "You aren't meant to leave this world by jumping. You have to exit it."
I turned around. Lia disappeared.
"Everything here is in your head. You don't live in South Korea, and you never had a friend called Lia Park. You also were never bullied. You don't have a brother. You are nothing."
I look closer to the landscape and understand it now. Finally the violet colours are fading away.
I can't be in South Korea, because the landscape is the world. I am on a castle in outer space.

I am nowhere else but in my head.