Kart's fantastical journey!

Rain Permafrost

I used to be human. And I used to have a family. We lived in Iceland. That's the only thing I remember. I forgot how my parents looked like and how life was in Iceland. I left the country at the age of six, so I barely remember anything. But what I do remember is that I liked the cold weather and the snowy landscapes a lot. I loved the geysers and the glaciers. It all matched with my name, Rain Permafrost. I loved winter a lot. I loved it so much. However, never would I ever have thought that I'd become it.

I used to have a family. Now I don't have one anymore.
I used to have long, black hair. Now I don't have any.
I used to have light-orange skin. Now I have blue skin.
I used to feel warmth and cold. Now I feel nothing.
I used to be pretty. Now I am ugly.
I used to be human. Now I'm a monster.

I hide myself by wearing a light-blue stocking cap and a dark-blue scarf I had knitted myself back in Iceland. I hide myself because I am abhorrent. I hate myself so much.

I am a monster. I am a monster. I am a monster.

I am a block of ice. Ice that never melts, ice that doesn't let me be normal. Ice that makes me different from everyone else.
I don't understand why my parents had to send me away. I loved my country so much, and now I don't remember anything anymore. Everything is foggy.
Why did my parents send me to Ambermoor? Why did I have to go to Ireland? If I could have stayed in Iceland....then I would have never turned into a monster.
Because of Ambermoor...because of him...I lost my parents and my two best friends.
I am all alone now.

"Rain!" Johnny caught me off guard. "What are you doing?"
"O-oh..." I smiled. "I'm just knitting again."
Johnny looked at my snow-white doll, located on my desk, and said, "Did you make this?"
"Yes, Johnny. I did." I nodded. "His name is Xeamas."
"That's a beautiful name." mumbled Johnny. "Do you like knitting?"
"Yes, I do." I smirked. "Look at all the yarn I brought from home. I even took some drawing utensils with me."
"Do you like drawing?" asked me Johnny.
"Yes, I do, Johnny."
"Want to draw with me and Max in the attic?"
"You want me to draw with you?" my eyes sparkled vividly.
"Yes, we can use charcoal and oil for our paintings. Let's do some self-portraits." advised Johnny.
I looked at my doll Xeamas and then at Johnny.
"..."
"Rain?" Johnny seemed nervous.
"Yes." I grinned. "Let's paint together!"
Johnny smiled.

Johnny Farrowbane. He left me. He evanesced without telling me beforehand. He disappeared from my life. He abandoned me.
But that's okay. I have a doll of him. Now I won't forget him. I forgot my parents, but I won't forget anyone else. I have dolls of everyone.

"Rain?" Max looked at me. "You like drawing? I didn't know."
"You could have talked to her, you know?" sighed Johnny. "Communication is key."
"Johnny, you know I'm shy." Max blushed.
"Excuses, excuses." Johnny rolled his eyes. "Wait here, both of you, I'll get us three canvases."
Johnny hurried down the attic and disappeared. Like when he left me indefinitely after the death of Max.
Max and I were alone now. His face was covered with a hood.
He noticed that I had been staring at him for a while.
"Want to sit next to me?" he asked.
"Sure..." I sat next to him awkwardly.
The attic looked dirty. Everything was moldy. It needed to be cleaned some day.
"Hey, Max." I asked. "Why do you...have that?"
"Hm?" Max seemed confused. "My hood?"
I nodded.
"..."
"Yes...?" I waited patiently. "Aren't you going to take it off?"
"No...I-...uh...I'm...uh...ugly." he said.
"I don't think so." I laughed. "No one in this world is ugly."
"That's not true." He said.
"Inner beauty matters more. If you're beautiful from the outside but ugly from the inside, then the outer beauty is irrelevant and redundant. A bad personality makes you ugly, not your looks." I smiled.
"You have it easy. You're beautiful." said Max. "Your black hair and porcelain skin make you look pretty. You have both factors. Beauty from the in- and outside."
"Max..." I was touched by what he had said. "That's very nice of you. I don't care how you look. You're beautiful either way. Johnny and I will wait for you. Just go at your own pace and show us your face when you feel more secure and confident, alright? Just know that I will always like you no matter what."
"Rain..." Max smirked.
I could see his beautiful mouth smile beneath his hood. He was so beautiful.
"We only know each other for a week. And it took me a while to talk to you properly. If it hadn't been for Johnny, I probably would have had a harder time communicating with people. You are my first friend...besides from Johnny of course."
I giggled, "Thank you for being honest."
"...y-you're...welcome..." Max suddenly seemed distressed.
Why was he nervous all of a sudden? Was it because he lied?
If I knew, if I knew the reason he didn't show his face at that time, then I would have never gotten close to him at all.