When I Can't Do Anything Else

(When I was Thinking of You)

I feel my heartbeat pump like a drum
It's here
Adrenaline rushing in my toxic veins
It's here
Drawn nearer to the edge of overload
It's here
A tempest in my head, swirling an image of you
It's here

I felt around for myself, and I kept reaching
But I'm lost
Self-assurance at its best, patting the back pocket of my jeans
But it's lost
Eyes wandering far beyond anybodies sight
But not lost
In a fantasy of fiction within fiction, and fact within lies
But all is and isn't lost

The love that I've been pining
Is gone
My heart that I've been treating
Is gone
Stars that I've been counting
Is gone
And the fear of ever losing you
Is gone
Because the person who I loved the most
Is gone

And all that is gone wasn't lost, but was here at the beginning, the middle, and another beginning. The end has not reached its peak, because, after all, here and there, people get lost to another beginning- beginning another way, beginning to be lost again. To be gone ephemerally.

//k.u