When I Can't Do Anything Else

M.

I loved everything about you;

How you smiled, and your cute crooked teeth showed

How your eyes crinkle when you laughed

When you do that weird jump when you make a joke

Or how you raise your hand praisingly when you make people laugh, and you just look so silly,

And how you smiled as response, nodding like an idiot,

There were times when I see you looking at the window, thinking, and you were so deep in thought

You were such a puzzle,
You're a mystery that I wanted to solve,

"What could that person be thinking about?" I say to myself; I wanna know everything what your beautiful mind could offer,

But sadly, you were the missing letter 'M' on my heart, and I've never tried getting it

It was the only one that I let lost in the fray, and that was okay,

I loved everything about you;

Even the pieces of my heart, where my letters come fragmented; come undone,

And it was okay, to endure the most breathtaking pain possible - it made me stronger,

My heart beats as every page gets turned in this poem, feeling like the first time I spent writing about you,

It was worth it, it was always worth it, because things like these never go away; Memories replacing new moments, scars that last longer than all the times my eyes roamed your face, a love that got lost in the midst of growing old, and a longing that might haunt me between high hopes and dreams: and I would never take it for granted, because it was worth the hurt to love you,

But now, after all I went through, it didn't hurt as it used to - and, in the most painfully perfect way, that was okay

//k.u.