When I Can't Do Anything Else

Tired, Endlessly I Am- Relentless, Restlessly I Am

A learning curve.

After a brief period of doubt, a career crisis that led me into thinking that another path might be the right answer, I've spiraled into a self-imposed loathing of never reaching my expectations.

I've now learned that nothing good comes in things that are rushed, and it isn't handed to you. You are simply in charge of the power you have left at your disposal. I always thought my condition was the problem, the aspect of me to blame that spared me of countless opportunities, and offered me only a pitiable reflection of what I can muster in every difficult, mind-numbing decisions.

I write this as a reminder to myself to not care of the frivolities of decision, of indecision, or being seen, or viewed in a different light. I'll reflect in reverse of all the memories that piled up and left to collect dust in the previous year— a byproduct of my imperfect need to create something grand. All I needed to do in the first place was create.

To write in reverse, to walk the path in where I've started. To learn and execute what I absorbed, and relearn the past in which I pushed aside.

I tire easily, but my mind is restless. The pursuit of the arts resonates stronger than my fear of failure. 

//k.u.