When I Can't Do Anything Else

Don't Let Them Win

Don't let hate consume you. Every particle, every innocent fiber of your thoughts, can be transformed into something irrevocable, something dangerously incomprehensible, and it'll last longer if you didn't push it away. Keep trying. Try to undermine your hate to someone, to something, or whatever that fuels the fire in your being. It'll burn you alive, inside out. Nobody will notice it, maybe some of your real friends, but you yourself is the one who's being turned to ashes. You yourself can feel the hurt, the shattered trust, and you feel regurgitating the last remnants of the pieces of your walls.

I think I can never trust someone. Just temporarily, but I feel painfully alone. I'm clutching my legs, letting the darkness envelop the sound of my crackling fire. I'm just so, so tired of being betrayed. Betrayed, abandoned, left alone, feeling so lost, without anybody at my side. I didn't know people could actually be like this; people can really equal the monstrosities that lurk in the night, and they're the traitors that are in disguise. As a bystander, a connection, a person that hates you but you don't know them, an internet acquaintance, or even your trusted 'best friend'.

It was my fault, really. I was naïve to see their true agenda, their evil motives. I have been under the table for more than 6 months, no idea of this parasite latching on to me, stealing my life. An imitator, a second-rate, a nobody without personality, a user, a person who doesn't have anything to do. You are a home wrecker, and I'm ashamed to even call you a 'friend'.

I'm honestly feeling so defeated, but I'm going to bounce back. My resilience is stronger than you think, and just remember, I will try and inflict the pain you've caused me unto you. I've been under your toxic potion for months, and it'll be unfair if I hadn't done the same. So, so unfair.

Or I don't know. You may be lucky, and I'll just let you go freely. Without any scratches, because you're not worth my time. You're not worth any of my time anymore. I can't stand to see you by my presence. It dirties me.

Remember, don't let hate consume you. Never. I'm in a high, and drunk of hatred. Luckily, I have enough self-control to handle this maturely. You're lucky I can tolerate you.

Don't let hate consume you, or it'll engulf you in unmistakable pain. Don't let it accumulate in your gut.

And it'll be easier to live a day without any heavy worries in mind.

//k.u.