Broken Trust | Jikook

02

Author's POV

5 years later...

Jimin and Jungkook have been married for 5 years now. They proved a point to everyone that said they wouldn't last, and their marriage is going strong. Jungkook continues to make Jimin feel like the most beautiful person on earth. Jungkook treats him like a queen, which Jimin doesn't understand, especially at this point in their marriage.

They've been married for a long time, and everyone is expecting them to start a family. It's not like they haven't tried. Jimin and Jungkook have been trying to conceive for the past 5 years. Each time they would try, their results would be negative, and it took a toll on Jimin.

Jimin's POV

I just took another pregnancy test and, honestly, I'm not even excited anymore. The result was the same each time.

5 minutes later,

NEGATIVE

Just as I expected, I could not help but break down in the bathroom. I despise crying, but I can't help but feel my heartbreak a little each time the test results are negative. Since Jungkook was still asleep, I made sure to avoid taking the test around him. I know he's just as disappointed as I am and I cannot help the guilt I feel being around him. He really deserves to be a father, but I cannot give that to him. I'm basically taking away his right to be a father, yet he treats me like I'm the moon and stars in the sky.

I brush my teeth and wash my face before getting dressed for the day. I put on simple fitted pants and a blouse, tied my shoulder-length hair into a neat messy bun, and applied very light makeup, just enough to make me look more alive. I feel very discouraged these days, but I cannot let Jungkook know. He'll worry too much. I cannot do that to him.

After getting dressed, I woke Jungkook like I always do. I placed feather-light kisses all over his face and whispered to him, "It's time to wake up my love. You're going to be late. ". He lightly grumbles at me but flutters his eyes open and smiles at me with his beautiful bunny smile that I love so much. He kisses me, and I can feel the love poured into the kiss. He tries to turn the kiss heated but I need to start breakfast and he needs to get ready for work. "Good morning, my love," said Jungkook, looking at Jimin like he meant the world again. Jimin couldn't help himself and kissed him with purpose, almost as if thanking him for staying with him. They break apart. "I'll be downstairs in 10 minutes," he says, as I make my way downstairs.

Jungkook POV

I love that I get to be woken up like this every day. My beautiful husband, Jeon Jimin, how the fuck did I get so lucky?

I can not even put into words how much I love him. I heard him in the bathroom, and it broke my heart. I know that he takes a pregnancy test every week and when the result is negative, he breaks down in the bathroom. I hate that he keeps this to himself. I hate that he blames himself for our pregnancy struggles. 

I try to stay positive and be there for him, but he makes it especially hard when he just avoids it like it doesn't even phase him. I feel disappointed each time the pregnancy test is negative, but I do not blame him for it. I continue to tell myself "it's not the right time, it will happen when the time is right," but to be completely honest, I'm losing hope and I feel very embarrassed about it because I shouldn't be feeling this way. 

I should be encouraging him, supporting him and trying everything in my power to ensure that this happens, but don't you think we've tried? We've been to multiple doctors, even abroad, and each time they said that there was absolutely nothing wrong with him. They said he was fertile and had a healthy womb, but why is he not able to conceive? We'd go many nights without sleeping because we'd be too busy making endless love, convincing ourselves that the next time we'd be pregnant, only for it all to come crashing down when he breaks down in the bathroom, alone, and I'm ashamed to say that I just let him. 

I don't know what to do anymore. How to help him, how to comfort him. It hurts and I can only imagine how much he must be hurting.

Please feel free to comment and excuse my grammar - patrickthestarfish1