Broken Trust | Jikook

23

Jungkook POV

The pregnancy announcement left me in a state of shock. At that moment, my first initial reaction was to reassure Lisa before she made the impulsive decision to abort our baby.

"Lisa it's okay, we'll figure this out. I don't know how, but I have to figure this out. " I'm trying my best not to project the stress I'm experiencing in my voice in an attempt to not stress her out.

"You're not leaving me?" she asks me with questioning eyes. "Well, I have no choice now. I need to own up to my mistakes. " I let go of her and took a step back.

"Are you calling this baby a mistake?" she asks with rising anger in her voice. "No, no, that's not what I'm saying, but we know what we were doing was wrong and, as a result, an innocent life is caught in the middle," I say as I pull at my hair, frustrated. Lisa is just silent, looking at the floor.

"I'll look after you and the baby. I've truly wanted a child for so long and I'm grateful. This is honestly the only good thing that came from this." I try to imagine what Jimin's reaction to the news will be, and who am I kidding...

He is definitely not going to be happy. How fucking stupid can I be... I might as well kiss my marriage goodbye. Not even Jimin, my beautiful husband, would be that understanding and forgiving. I choke up at the thought of my husband leaving me.

"I'll drop you at home and we'll head to the doctor's office tomorrow to get official results and see how far along you are," I say, making my way to the cafe's door away from all the prying eyes. I opened the car door for her before getting in the driver's seat and heading to her home. The ride was silent. I wasn't in the mood to converse. I was only thinking about what was about to come. I was so deep in my thoughts and only when Lisa tapped my shoulder did I realise that we had reached her home. "I'll pick you up at 08:00 tomorrow and we'll head to the doctor. I'm going to a friend's event tomorrow evening, and I will ask Jimin to meet me there so that we can talk. I don't want to hide this from him like I have everything else." Lisa finally exited the car, and I saw her enter safely before heading to my lonely home.

As I reach the driveway of my house, it dawns upon me when I'm sitting in my car. I'm going to be a father, which I'm so excited about, but this joy is being shared with the wrong person. It should've been Jimin happily announcing his pregnancy and me being over the moon about it. I would immediately start decorating my child's nursery and start buying baby supplies, oh and baby-proofing the house, but it's not. I have let him down. I don't even deserve to think about a happy life with Jimin when I was the one who was ruining it. 

All these thoughts plague my mind as I bawl my eyes out with my head on the steering wheel until I feel the heaviness in my head and the inability to breathe properly. I carelessly exit the car and enter the front door. I don't know why I still expected to be greeted at the door like before. I have a feeling that won't be happening any time soon too. I couldn't handle the thumping in my head anymore. I just found myself on the couch and unconsciously let the darkness consume me.

The next day,

I woke up with the same thumping pain in my head from the previous night, and I can feel how swollen my eyes are right now. I cried more last night than I have in my entire life. I've always been strong and fearless because that was how Jimin saw me, but here I am stressed and falling apart without him.

As I sit on the couch I fell asleep on, the anxiousness about tonight is eating at me. How do you just tell your husband that you cheated on him and got the person pregnant and still expect them to not leave you?

No matter how I'm feeling, today I'm going to find out if Lisa's really pregnant and how far along she is. I don't necessarily trust Lisa. She was just a moment of weakness, but I have no real feelings towards her, but I have to be there for her now if she really is carrying my child. I need to be a man and take responsibility for my actions.

I proceeded to take a shower and get dressed in a simple t-shirt and jeans. I decreased the swelling in my eyes with an ice trick Jimin taught me. I miss him so much.

I left the house shortly after and picked up Lisa from her house, heading to the doctor's office. The ride was silent once again. We only greeted each other, but that was it. I'm only doing this for the sake of my child.

When we reached the doctor's office, Lisa had entered the consultation room, though I was asked to wait outside, which is odd, I did so regardless.

"Mr Jeon, you may come inside," says the doctor. I sat beside Lisa. She tried holding my hand, but I pushed her hand away. She placed it on my thigh, but I shoved her hand off gently yet sternly. The doctor cleared her throat before speaking.

"So Mr Jeon, We have done some blood tests as well as the urine pregnancy test. Congratulations, Ms Manoban is indeed pregnant. She is currently at 10 weeks. We have done the ultrasound as well, and I have issued copies thereof. I'll prescribe some prenatal vitamins and I'd suggest keeping her under observation as she is a bit underweight so having her eat healthy and filling foods will be beneficial but other than that, she is healthy. I'd also suggest she refrain from any strenuous exercise and activities. It might lead to miscarriage as she is still in the early stages," says the doctor in one breath, to which I feel slight disappointment. I was kind of hoping she wasn't pregnant, that the test she took was wrong, and that I could put this all behind me and live a happy and carefree life with Jimin, but turns out life doesn't work like that.

"Thank you. I'll get all the needed medicines and make sure she eats and doesn't overwork herself, "I say defeatedly. "If that is it, I'll take my leave. I'll see you at your next follow-up appointment in a month," says the doctor before bowing and leaving. "Let's go, Lisa. I'll order your medicine and have it delivered to you," I said as I walked out the door, but she grabbed my wrist and asked angrily, "Why are you being so cold towards me?" "Lisa, get to the car now, we still have the event later," I say, not answering her question as I enter the car. She gets into the car and I drive off to her home. "Jungkook, I am the mother of your child. Some acknowledgement would be nice, "she huffs as she turns to face me and I roll my tongue on the inside of my cheek. "Do you think I wanted this?" I looked at her incredulously. "Do you think I planned for things to go this far? Do you think I intended to get you pregnant? This was supposed to be a moment I'd only experience with my husband and him alone. " Lisa is silent, looking at me with hurt eyes. "Is the thought of me carrying your child that bad?" I sigh hard as I lay my head on the steering wheel before answering, "It's not like that, it's just this whole situation is so fucked up and I have no idea how I'm going to fix this. I'm sure there's no coming back from this. It's nobody's fault but mine, and I now have a baby on the way, so I'm going to have to suck it up. " Silence is all that's heard before I speak up. "I'll pick you up for the event tonight. We'll be talking to Jimin about everything. All cards are on the table tonight," I say, determinedly to which Lisa only nods as she bows her head before exiting the car and heading inside. I texted Jimin to confirm his attendance at the event, even though I knew he would.

"Good morning, my love. I'm going to Jin Hyung's event tonight. Are you going to be there? There's actually someone I'd like you to meet and something really urgent I'd like to discuss with you. I love you. "

"Yes, I'll be there," Jimin responded. It's real now. This is it. Tonight is the night I fuck everything up.