Ryvers Redemption✔️

Chapter 24

"We were taught more than that, more than just to survive no matter the environment, we were taught to kill without thinking twice. They groomed us into becoming the perfect killing team. Stronger and deadlier than any of the Army force teams, better than the Black Ops, we were turned into mindless killers following orders to those who owned us. If we didn't comply with what they wanted, they would kill our families."

Sometime through his talking he fell off his knees and onto his ass, digging his hands into his hair as he looks up at me with sadness.

"So you now know I'm a killer. What you also need to know is that we were taught to control our bodies. You probably touched me this morning and my body reacted, thinking it was in danger. They would send women into the compound to seduce us, if we got hard, we were beat until we couldn't get up again. That's why I hated you, well not hated, but I wanted to, I wanted to send you screaming and crying away from me because for the first time in years a woman was able to get me like that and the scary part was you wasn't even trying. Something about you gets to me, gets past my defense, and I was disappointed in myself and confused, hell I still am confused" his rough voices cuts off as he looks up to the ceiling.

I finally let the breath I have been holding escape loudly, feeling my warm breath pushing past my lips as I hurry and suck in a rush of air. I didn't think I have been holding my breath,, but that's horrible. Furthermore, I have to know...

"How old was you when they started with the women?" I asked.

"I won't answer that" He says harshly.

"Okay. So, you are starved, beat and raped-" I didn't get to finish because he interrupted me, I guess his back to feeling like his old bossy self.

"Yes." He grunts out and sits up on his knees again, taking a small step towards me.

"The other men-" I start to question,, but he doesn't let me finish. Again.

"Yes. Same as me. I won't give you the details on them. Some got worse than the others,, but it's not up to me to share that with you."

"I understand that."

We sit in silence for a few moments, thoughts and horrible images make their way inside my head at what he told me happened to him, I have a feelings things were a lot worse than that, and he was keeping it short only telling me what he needed to, either sparing me from knowing or sparing himself to discuss it.

Maybe he wanted to spare both us of.

"When you say the women seduced you, can you explain more? Is that why you don't like me to touch you as much?" I asked him gently.

I'm not totally heartless, in fact my heart is now aching for him, for the child in him that never had a safe childhood, scared in the woods hungry.

This has shocked me to my core, to think people could do this to children. Take them from their homes just to abuse them and make then how they want. To make them power hungry assholes more powerful.

"Once I turned 18 they would start letting women touch me, that was all I will say is the next level. They would touch my dick, suck it they did whatever to my body and I either would get hard or I wouldn't. When I did is when I wouldn't have food for at least a week, and that was after they had beat me until I could physically not get up"

"How old were you when y'all escaped? Or did they let y'all go?" I questioned not really sure if they had be able to finally get free or was they let free.

"They would not have freed us-" He starts but cuts himself off by drawing in a deep breath, slowly making his way on his knees closer to me. " I along with the men who hold positions inside the club put a plan together, it took a year to perfectly plan but we managed to escape and I'll be honest and tell you we killed every mother fucker that we could on the way out."

Nodding my head slowly up and down I slowly reach my hand out to him and he slowly moves the rest of the way to me, he doesn't touch me but his chest are touching my legs and he lays his head down on my thigh.

"Please forgive me for this morning, I know it was wrong and I could give excuses for why I am how I am but that's not even good enough. I never want to hurt you, my feelings for you are strong and getting stronger and I know my heads fucked up, I know you deserve better but please give me a chance, I'm trying" He whispers out softly before he kisses the inside of my thigh.

"I was prepared to leave after we talked, it would have crushed me if I'm being honest but I would have walked away. Your right after everything I have had done to me with my husband, I don't deserve another man laying a hand on me but I understood your past now that you explained it. I'll stay and we will work on things." I say raising my hands up and running my fingers slowly through his hair leaning down I place a gentle kiss on his forehead.

Please god let this not be my newest mistake.