Ryvers Redemption✔️

Chapter 32

I did not come out of my room until the next morning, I made my way quickly into the kitchen. I thank god, that I did not run into Ryver, I don't think my heart could take it right now. Last night he basically mocked me, saying I tell him the same shit I probably told Dan. Jokes on him, I never told Dan it was okay. I stayed just because I was too scared to do anything else.

"Hey, girl. You good?" Laura asked as soon as I walked into the kitchen.

The smell of pancakes hit my nose, making my stomach growl with hunger.

"Yeah I'm good. I just needed a good cry." I laughed, attempting to make a joke to hide my real feelings.

"I figured. I wanted to go check on you but I know you needed space." She said, with a small smile. Her eyes are searching my face. She looks so worried and I feel bad, she has enough going on with Tracer that she does not need to be worrying about me.

"I did. Thank you." I smiled at her and sat down on the bar stool, closest to her and the stove.

"You hungry?" Laura asked and slid a plate in front of me without waiting for my answer. "Stupid question. Women always need food after a good cry and dealing with a toxic man." She chuckled.

I was so worried that she would be walking on egg shells around me, I am so happy to see and hear her making jokes and talking to me like everything is normal.

"Ryver came to see me last night." I told her softly, picking up my fork and cutting a piece of pancake.

"Yeah, he came storming into the main room, went straight to the bar and grabbed some whiskey before heading to his room. He did not say a word just looked like if someone talked to him, he would have killed them." She said softly, her head turned and her eyes scanned the kitchen door. Probably making sure no one can over hear us.

"I asked him if him and I could stop with the silence, and I told him what happened was not his fault. He threw my words back at me asking if that was what I told Dan each time he hit me." I told her, feeling my eyes starting to fill up with tears. His words replaying over and over inside my mind.

I still can't believe he told me all that. What was the reason for that? Did he just want to hurt me more? He watched my husband cut me down and he wanted to do it too?

I know I'm sounding stupid. Ryver would never just say those words to hurt me. I have not known him for that long but I do know that Ryver would never tell a woman that. He said them for a reason and I need to find out. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve for him to say that to me, not after everything I have been through.

A few minutes later, most of the men and the club bunnies are inside the kitchen. Ryver was the last to walk in, looking like complete hell. How much did he drink last night? His hair is sticking up everywhere, I don't even think he combed it. The bags under his eyes tell me he did not get much sleep last night.

Join the club.

I literally screamed myself to sleep.

No one's talking and it's very uncomfortable for me because I know I am the reason. They were all there last night and they all heard Dan's hateful words and they all know I lost my child.

Maybe I should just start going look for a different place to stay, I have a little bit saved from the past few weeks of working the bar here. I should be able to find myself something. I don't even care if it's a crappy apartment. I need something for just me. Everyone has been so kind to me here, the men basically took me in. I know it's because I have a job here but they did not have to be so nice to me.

"I will be going to look for apartments today." I told Laura loud enough that the rest of the room heard. "I appreciate what everyone had done for me, but it's time I moved out. I have money saved up now." I ended softly.

I wanted everyone to hear that way, they know that they can get back to doing whatever they do. They won't have to walk around here in awkward silence because I am in the room and they don't know what to say to me.

"No." Ryver cuts out, not even looking up from his plate and wearing a pissed off snarl on his lips.

"I did not ask you." I growled. He honestly thinks he will say that one word and I will obey it? No. Not anymore, not after everything he told me last night. That is not how this is going to work.

"You're not fucking going to live on your own! Your husband will get you. Don't be stupid Ashley. Just because we are not together doesn't mean you're not welcome to stay here where it's safe." Ryver said, tossing his fork down on his plate. "Church." He called, and stood up.

Oh no.

This is not the end of this conversation.

Hell no.

"I am not fucking stupid Ryver! I don't want to stay here anymore, not after what you told me last night." I snapped, standing up when he took a step towards the door. He does not get to just walk away from me.

"You are not leaving here." He snarled, reached out and grabbed my arm when I walked closer to him. "It's not fucking safe. God. Can you not be smart? Use your head. You keep putting yourself in these dangerous situations."

I feel my bottom lip starting to trimble as he says those words. His words are cutting me.

Can I be smart?

Of course I can. I finally got the damn courage to leave my abusive husband. Do you know how smart I needed to be to hide money from him? He had control of our bank account and he always made me keep the receipts.

"That is the last damn time you get to say that to me, Ryver. I am smart. I got myself out of a very dangerous situation. Me. Alone. All by myself. What I told you last night was true. I know it was not your fault just like you do. You're nothing like Dan and even though you threw that in my face last night I still believe it. You may think I am a weak woman that you need to protect. Protect from Dan. Protect from yourself but you're wrong. I don't need protection from you! Open your fucking eyes Ryver." I shouted, not even caring about the people listening around the room. He needed to hear me say those words again and I will keep saying them until he believes them.

I did not what to do this, not with everyone listening but I just snapped. He keeps talking bullshit and it pissed me off.

"Open your eyes, Ryver. I believe in you even if you don't believe in yourself." I said softly, lowering my tone so that only he could hear what I said.