Seven

Chapter 68

SEVEN'S POV

"For fuck sake!" I cuss at myself under my breath, pulling on my hair in frustration as I quickly stride over to my car.

"That was fucking stupid, absolutely stupid idea!" I scold myself out loud and quickly hideaway in the confines of the tinted car. She had been right there, I could've reached out and touched her she was that fucking close. But she was absolutely terrified to see me, I know she saw me, her blown out wide eyes and open mouth gave that away as she stared at my chest through the gap in the book shelf.

"Fucking idiot!" I hit the steering wheel. I've blown it, I know I have. I don't know what I was thinking following her in there like that. She got the fright of her life but what did I expect? That she'd fling her arms around me, weep tears of joy and tell me she'd missed me?

Of course she fucking wouldn't do that. As far as Lilianna is concerned I'm probably the last person she wants to see after all these months. The way she had stared at me, in utter disbelief, I could see the hurt in her eyes. The way it pained her to be reminded of what we had, what I ruined. I shouldn't have bombarded her like that, I should have eased her into the idea of me even being back in town. I probably should have asked Mesha to let her know I was back and wanted to talk to her if she'd let me. But I know there's no way Mesha would ever fucking help me plan something like that.

I watch as Lilianna leaves the small book store, her hands free of the coffee she dropped at the sight of me. Her eyes scan the street back and forth before she begins walking back in the direction of her new home. She constantly checks over her shoulder and I know she's looking out for me. Does she want to see me? Or is she simply freaked out by my appearance in the book store?

I watch her walk down the street in the car, not starting it up until she's far down the road and almost out of sight. She will be home soon and I'm sure she didn't notice me parked here so I drive slowly and inconspicuously down the road after her. I catch a glimpse of Lily unlocking her door, she checks the street once more before stepping inside.

I pull up across the road so I can get the view slightly into her second floor apartment. Waiting for the huge windows to warmly glow signalling her entrance, when they do I can't help the thud in my chest. I had been so close to her in that book store, I could hear her intake of breath when she caught sight of me. I could smell her sweet vanilla scent, hell I swear I could feel the soft warmth from her body. The same warmth that use to comfort me in sleep when I was with her.

I had been so close but now here I am, far away yet again and watching her from the outside. I'm surprised when she appears at one of the large windows. She looks down at the street and then over to the small park that I'm sitting in the car next to. When those golden brown eyes set their gaze on me my heart begins to race. I sink in my seat, terrified that she's somehow able to see through the dark tinted windows.

Lilianna continues to unknowingly stare directly at me from her second story window and I feel as though my heart is literally leaping into my throat. Why is she staring? Does she know it's me? I hope she isn't scared, I mean the girls been followed before by a creep in a blacked out car so it would only be natural for her to be suspicious. But she hasn't noticed the car before so maybe she just thinks it's a nice car? She was never one to really be interested by that type of thing. I'm confused as I watch her watch me before disappearing back into her flat.

If I drive off right now it might be suspicious. I need to wait to leave so as not to cause any more stress for her today than my stint in the book store. As far as she knows this car could be empty and I need to make it seem as though it is. Within a moment she is back at the window and I'm glad I didn't drive off. She holds something very small and black in her hand, and I watch incredibly confused as she presses both her palms against the windowpane and leans forward.