Seven

Chapter 84

SEVEN'S POV

"Surprised you're alone." Curby says as he jumps into the passenger side of my SUV.

"What do you mean by that?" I question him, pulling off the curb as soon as his door closes.

"Would've thought Lily would be strapped to your dick now that you's are fucking again." He jokes in the least comedic way.

"Fuck off." I scoff at his ridiculous attempt at humour.

"So you are fucking her again?" I can see his shit eating grin in my peripheral without needing to glance his way. When I don't answer his intrusive questioning, a hand pats down heavily on my shoulder.

"Why do you need to know so bad?" I frown out at the road, my nerves already worn and yet Curby has only been in the car mere seconds.

"It's best if I know what Seven I'm having to deal with." He answers.

"What?"

"Y'know, whether you're mopey love-sick Seven." He begins counting on his fingers.
"Or up tight stressed Seven, or cranky off the charts horny Seven. Or—"

"Alright, fucking hell. Give it a rest would you?" I interrupt him, unimpressed by the accuracy in which he describes. Lilianna holds a great deal of control over my moods, in fact she holds a great deal of control over me as a whole. That use to terrify me, now I'm not as bothered by it. She's good for me, the fact that I haven't ripped Curby's annoying head off proves that.

"Well I take it you had a good time after she left the warehouse with you." Curby continues. I'm sick of the conversation already and steer the topic away from Lily and myself.

"What did you and Mesha get up to when we left?" I really don't give a fuck to know.

"Just the usual. Went back to her place and fucked most of the night. Mesha gets crazy horny after shooting guns, I kinda like it though." He smiles to himself and I try not to let the thought of my friend and Mesha having sex become a visual in my mind. I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than see that shit.

Curby drains on about the dumbest shit. Mostly it's about Mesha; her favourite television show, something about a stain she got in her favourite dress so Curby brought her the same one. By the time he swings the conversation into a story about how he and Mesha have been considering buying a fucking pet snake together I tune out.

My mind goes to the only place it does these days when I ignore the world around me - to her. Something was up with her this morning but I couldn't get it out of her no matter how hard I tried. I have a feeling it was about the sex, about me not using a condom. She seemed into it at the time but maybe I got that wrong? In the past she had suggested it so I assumed it would be okay with her. It was fucking reckless, and went against every rule I had set up for myself but fuck did it feel good. Fuck did she feel good. I felt closer and more connected to her then I've ever felt in my entire life with anyone. Ever.

I trusted her, in that moment we expressed an act of trust on a level we hadn't reached before. And now that I've felt that with her I don't think I ever want to go back. Maybe it was my comment about finishing inside of her that threw her off this morning? I could understand why. It's not like I'm keen to have children, or that I'm purposely seeking that kind of thing out. I just... I don't know how to explain it. I feel like if that were to happen with Lilianna I wouldn't be as afraid as it use to make me. I know with her at least a kid would have some chance.

I've always wanted to be a dad. But in my life, growing up I had thought that producing an heir would mean the same lonely upbringing I had. I had it all wrong, I didn't realise I could meet someone, I didn't realise I could fall in love with them. I didn't realise my kid could have a mother raising them, teaching them in that kind and gentle way only a mother can. And I didn't realise I would be considering the option of having a child with them as a positive.