The World Only has men [BL!] [Editing] [Hiatus]

69: Think About Yourself

Meng Yao and Xiao Si sat silently together on the veranda for some time after the worship ceremony for Liang Huan. Eventually Xiao Si took Meng Yao's hand and wrote on the palm.

"What do you plan to do now?" he asked as he gazed into the eyes of his son.

"Before I make any decisions, I need to know... What exactly happened to my daddy and who was responsible for it?"

Meng Yao gently grasped Xiao Si's wrist and pulled up the sleeve, revealing the red and purple marks Xiao Si had been trying to hide. He knew they weren't from being hit but rather were marks of possession during intimacy - after all, he had left just such marks on his Jiajia before.

But where the marks he left on Jiajia were lovely in his eyes, these marks made him feel disgusted.

"What did he threaten you with for you to be enduring this - humiliation?" Meng Yao's tone was calm but his eyes were burning with fury. Xiao Si couldn't help but feel an ember of warmth in his cold heart at this display of concern by his son. He gently placed his hand on the side of Meng Yao's face, his eyes showing a softness Meng Yao had never seen.

Xiao Si's lips pulled into a hint of a smile. His son's eyes resembled his own in so many ways...

"It is not a simple matter that can be easily understood," Xiao Si explained, writing carefully in Meng Yao's palm. "After your father's disappearance and presumed death, you would think Chong Lin's anger would have cooled down but it continued to grow instead. I don't know exactly what he did but a power imbalance grew in the royal court and Chong Lin eventually demanded my hand in marriage."

Xiao Si drew a deep breath as the memories of that terrible time made his hands tremble. He was still deeply grieving the loss of his love and his child and Chong Lin was pressuring him into a marriage that revolted him.

"Of course I was adamant about refusing. How could I possibly marry the man who led my husband to jump off a cliff with my two-year-old son? I would rather have died with them!

"But the power imbalances in the court grew more pronounced, threatening the security of this Qing Empire - the empire that my husband worked so hard to save during that war. Still, I continued to resist - fighting to deal with the corrupt cliques the ministers had formed. I saw Chong Lin's hand behind much of the chaos in the court and I was furious. I already hated him for taking you and your father from me and that only grew when I saw him betraying our country for his own selfish interest - but then he did even worse..." Xiao Si shaking with uncontrollable anger. He bit his lip and used all his willpower to steady his hands as he wrote.

"He poisoned my father," Xiao Si revealed. Unshed tears turned his lovely eyes into limpid pools and his lips were white as he pressed them together. "He threatened my last loved one, trying to take the last bit of hope I had left in this world. I had no choice but to accept his demands, even though I hate him with every fiber of my being."

Meng Yao was perfectly still as he digested Xiao Si's words. He already disliked Chong Lin after reading his father's journal but this revelation turned his dislike into a budding hatred. Xiao Si watched him, hoping that Meng Yao wouldn't disappoint him. Meng Yao felt like acid was pouring into his heart as he thought about the man who had caused such pain to his father and his daddy. This man who had split up his happy family and caused him to be raised by a broken hearted father and a vicious grandfather.

Jia Yi was inside having tea with young Huan. He tilted his head, looking at the boy's sad face.

"You're sad," Jia Yi noted. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," Huan sighed - a sound more suited to a venerable grandfather than a boy. "It's my father..." Huan admitted a few moments later.

Jia Yi smiled and gently patted Huan's head.

"Think about yourself more," Jia Yi suggested kindly.

"Hm?"

"You think about your daddy and you think about your brother - now you're thinking about your father. But what about A'Huan? Doesn't A'Huan need to be considered as well?" Jia Yi asked tenderly. He liked this young man who had touched his husband's heart and demonstrated compassion for those around him.

Huan looked at him with astonishment before blushing and looking away.

"It's Zhong Ai," he mumbled awkwardly.

"Hm?"

"The name my daddy gave me," Huan explained shyly.

"Zhong Ai... That's a lovely name," Jia Yi said with an encouraging smile. "Zhong Ai, even though you're only thirteen years old, you are still old enough to want to make your decisions. You're also old enough to know which path you want to take in life."

Huan looked at him in surprise. Jia Yi had suddenly turned the conversation to such serious matters.

"What do you mean, "which path"," Huan asked with a bit of trepidation. Jia Yi's kind smile never faltered.

"You will have to make a choice, Huan - your father or your brother. Your father and Meng Yao are irreconcilable. Meng Yao will never ask you to make that choice but it is inevitable that you will have to choose," Jia Yi said, his tone unyielding and compassionate at the same time.

"But Gege has you by his side, doesn't he?" Huan asked in confusion.

"I am by his side as his wife," Jia Yi explained. "I cannot help him in what's to come. That's up to you even more than your daddy - but do you want that?"

Huan thought about Jia Yi's warning and recognized the truth in his words. What did he want to do? He wasn't sure. What is the right course? To whom does he owe allegiance? Meng Yao has been a wonderful brother to him even before they knew they were actually brothers. Meng Yao has never expected or asked anything from Huan in return for his kindness either. Huan looked up at Jia Yi.

"What about you, brother-in-law? Do you want to be a prince's wife?" Huan asked.

Jia Yi furrowed slightly before he answered.

"No," Jia Yi said quietly. He paused for a long moment before continuing, "I love Yaoyao, and I want to move forward with him, standing by his side. I don't want him to be a prince and I don't not want him to be prince. I just want to stand by his side and support him in whatever choice he makes. That is the decision I made."

Huan sighed and thought for a few more minutes with his head hanging down.

"I understand," he said at last, "thank you, brother-in-law."

Huan left to find his daddy and suggest that it was time to leave. He worried about keeping his daddy out too long since Xiao Si has been very sickly and weak these days. He paused at the door when he overheard Xiao Si's rusty voice for the first time in days.

"P-please kill Chong Lin," Xiao Si asked, his voice hoarse with disuse and disgust.

Edited by Relendria