Surprising turn - a turn for the better? Or into madness ... (Draco Ff)

Chapter 25 ~ Love makes you smile when you are tired

Victoria's pov.

I hadn't moved a bit.
Not a millimeter.
My neck was stiff and my back hurt with every breath.
I wrestled with myself.
Should I get up and go to the hospital wing or continue to vegetate here on the floor.
Neither seemed right to me, but there was no other possibility.
I could not anymore.
Neither with Draco nor without him.
It was all so difficult.
Single tears escaped my eyes and rolled down my cheeks until they dripped onto the floor.
I must have looked terrible.
Totally crying, deep circles under my eyes and the bruises that Potter and his entourage had inflicted on me back then were still easily visible and shaped my whole appearance.
I lifted my head and looked around Moaning Myrtle's loo.
The water was still running and continued to flood the entire room.
My clothes were soaked through and were heavy on my limbs.
My blouse and hands were blood red from Draco's blood.
It was already dried on his hands, but his sleeves were dripping red.
I slowly tried to sit up, all my bones cracking.
How long had I been sitting here?
I had completely lost my sense of time.
There was an emptiness in my head.
I wasn't able to think.
It's been a lot lately.
Too much of...
I began to move, trusting that my legs would be able to carry my body.
When I left the toilet, the noises started again.
The silence that reigned in Moaning Myrtle's loo was nothing compared to the noise that was now roaring through my ears.
The voices of the students could be heard everywhere.
They were all talking loudly and muddled, making it impossible for me to understand anything.
I must have stood in the middle of the hallway for a few minutes and stared into space.
I didn't trust my mind or my heart right now.
They worked against each other and not with each other.
Whenever I listened to my wits, my heart ached.
But when I did what my heart demanded, I could not reconcile it with my conscience.
I couldn't correct myself.
How could I then expect myself to please everyone else?
The question was easy to answer.
none!
I couldn't please anyone and it broke me.
I looked to the right and then to the left.
And I knew where both paths would lead, but I couldn't choose one.
On the left would be the path towards the hospital wing.
There, where Draco lay and no one knew if he would even make it.
On the right, the great hall or common room would await me.
And then I did what I didn't expect of myself.
I went left.
towards the hospital wing.
To Draco.
This choice struck my heart.
It decided without considering any other aspects.
I had my head down and was looking at my feet.
Counted every speck that came before my eyes.
Until suddenly I bumped into something big and soft.
I looked up to see wide-eyed eyes that seemed to belong to Blaise Zabini.
I took a step back but didn't break eye contact.
"Viktoria, what happened, you're wet and v-full, full of blood?" Zabini said what everyone would have thought at the moment.
I ducked my head and started to walk past him, but stopped short when Blaise grabbed my wrist.
"Are you alright?" the dark-skinned man asked me in a calm tone.
I avoided his gaze and jerked my arm away from him.
"When have I ever been okay?" I replied in a fragile tone, looking straight into his brown eyes.
He didn't know what to say and looked away.
That was enough for me as an answer.
He knew himself how dirty it was for me.
Only he only knows half of everything.
He thinks I'm upset about the situation with Draco, but he had no idea about my assignment.
He didn't know what Draco and I were going through, let alone what was to come.
Nobody understood us.
We were all alone with that.

Since Zabini didn't reply, I turned around without another word and continued on my way.
I was drawn further and further towards the hospital wing until I stopped in front of the large and heavy wooden door and began to have doubts.
It was all hair-pulling.
I leaned my head against the door and felt like I was suffocating.
I clenched my hands and balled them into fists.
However, she let go again and let me slide onto the floor on the opposite wall.
I was breathing heavily and kept staring at the door that led to the hospital wing.
I felt like I was staring holes into the wooden door.
But out of nowhere, a few minutes later, which I had spent on the cold floor, I jumped up and opened the heavy door.
I didn't know where I got that courage from, but before I could think about it any further, I was snapped back to reality and my gaze fixed on the deathly pale body lying in the last bed on the left.
Carefully, careful not to make any loud noises, I walked step by step towards the bed where the Slytherin Ice Prince lay.
When I saw that he was breathing, a stone fell from my heart and I was now able to breathe a little more freely.
I hadn't realized I was holding my breath until now when I entered the hospital wing.
I sat down in the chair next to Draco's bed and looked him up and down.
He looked totally exhausted and his sweaty hair was plastered to his forehead.
I got up and lay in bed with him.
I completely ignored the fact that I was still dripping with blood and water.
It was so comforting and at the same time strange to be lying next to him again after everything that had happened.
I just enjoyed the moment and thought of nothing else.
I didn't think about our quarrel, the dark lord, nor about the murders I had committed.
Only the here and now mattered.
I laid my head on Draco's shoulder and closed my eyes.
I had missed him so terribly.
I just didn't know how to proceed.
On the one hand, I loved him and didn't want to hurt him or let him go.
On the other hand, he mustn't know anything about my actions.
I didn't want to involve him in my affairs.
He didn't deserve that.
It was hard enough...