Part 43

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Triple update y'all!

Three Months Later

I didn't end up going to prom. Jay offered to take me, just as friends, but of course I couldn't. Prom was meant to be for Daemon and I. A special night for us to dance together.

The outfit I was going to wear is lying in the corner crumpled up, forgotten. I stare at it now, curled up in the bed. I have never felt so lonely. Being alone in my stepfathers basement was one thing. It was all I had ever known. But now that I've had a taste of love, desire, family—the better things in life—it is so much worse.

Both Lucien and Daemon are gone. Lucien's still in his coma, showing no sign of waking up. And Daemon has probably already forgotten me. Maybe he's found some other omega to fool around with. That's what Theo said, after all. That I'm not the first omega Daemon's been with. Not the last either. I don't know. I wish I could say I didn't care.

But I do. I care so deeply that it hurts, inside my heart, the pain ever present as I yearn for my mate who does not want me. The sadness has burrowed deep inside me, the anger now rising to the surface instead. It makes me so mad. It makes me want to hate him.

As I think about him, his stupid smiles and his stupid face, it's like a pressure that's been building up deep in my chest breaks. I shove myself into the blanket, screaming in frustration. It does nothing to soothe the ache. It only leaves me wishing I actually could do something to stop feeling this way. My chest rapidly rises and falls as I get a rush of adrenaline. Before I know it I'm reaching to my neck and roughly ripping off the necklace he made for me. The action makes the gold of it cut into my skin, drawing blood. I ignore the pain, instead standing up and hurling it with all my night against the wall, hoping it breaks.

"I hate you!" I scream to no one. "I hate you. Fuck you!"

I get up in a blind rage and walk to the mirror, staring at my ruined self. My physical state has deteriorated so much since he left. The dark circles under my eyes are permanent. My cheeks are hollow and have lost their rosiness. My collar bone is prominent in the loose hoodie of Daemon's that I wear as my pajamas. And my snow white hair that he loved to run his hands through is a tangly mess, all grown out. I am so fucking ugly. My face is disgusting. I am a freaking shit-show. If Daemon saw me right now he'd know he made the right choice rejecting me. I let out a strangled sob and grab an empty glass perfume bottle from the dresser, hurling it at my reflection.

The mirror shatters, along with the bottle, sending glass shards raining down everywhere. I flinch at the impact, the loud noise scaring me. It makes me start to sob as I sink to the floor, my knees and hands settling on the mess of broken glass. The shards cut into my skin but I don't move myself. I sit there, clutching my hands tighter so the glass digs into my palms and makes them bleed.

"I fucking hate you," I choke out, clenching my eyes tight. But I know my words aren't true. They could never be, when it comes to him.


"Have you given any more thought to my proposal?" Theo asks from across the table.

He's taken me to eat at a restaurant near Lucien's house, but I have no appetite. I shove the salad I ordered disinterestedly around my plate.

"I...have," I say quietly. But I don't know if I have. I've spiraled so deep into depression that I don't think about much these days.

"You're holding out on me," he sets his fork down, lacing his gloved hands together.

"Look, Theo...I'm—I'm not in the mood. I'm feeling...bad. And I don't think I'm going to stop feeling like that for a really, really long time. I can't be a good Luna like this, anyways," I look down, feeling my heart clench. I couldn't be a good mate for Daemon, either.

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