Part 44

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I'd be lying if I said I'm getting better. I'm not.

My friends have noticed it too. How unstable I am. How my mood is erratic. One second I can be laughing through the pain then the next the pain gets the best of me and I just go quiet. I act recklessly, too. The other day I climbed on the roof of Lylah's house when we were swimming and jumped in her pool from there. I narrowly missed the edge and all my friends were freaking out. I'm worrying them.

Tristan's been worried, too. I don't even know the guy well so it's weird how he tries to look after me. He got mad when he found out about the pool incident from Lylah. He sat me down and gave me a lecture on how I was going to regret doing things that put me in danger. Why would I regret it? There is nothing to lose at this point. I don't even get what he's saying sometimes.

The worst thing are the dreams. The dreams that Daemon comes back and loves me again, only for me to wake up and realize that will never happen. Recovering from those dreams takes hours, the hole in my heart growing by the minute. I wish it all would end.


I wake up exhausted, tired from hanging out last night with my friends. Jay, Yvonne, Lylah, and Wren were all here and we played a drinking game. I still can't handle the taste of alcohol, so I mixed it with a ton of water before I drank it down.

Now my head kind of hurts and I yawn, sitting up in my bed. That's when I realize that I'm hotter than usual. Feverish. And wet. Fuck. I'm in heat again.

Ugh. This is the last thing I need right now. I don't want to be in heat. It'll only make me remember how Daemon took my first time, how affectionally he held me. How he kissed me all over my body, his teeth leaving claim marks all over me. How his big cock fit perfectly inside me, a tight fit, but the stretch was delicious. And when he would fuck me—

I let out a breath of arousal, clenching my thighs. The wetness between them becomes more apparent and I can't bear it anymore. I find myself possessed and horny, burrowing in the mountain of Daemon's stuff, breathing it in. His scent is still there and I moan softly, pressing my hand down on my crotch and palming over it.

I proceed to do the one thing I swore I'd never do after he left me. I get off to Daemon.

I grab his clothes and stuff them between my legs, grinding my hardness on them through my pajama pants. I rock my hips to a steady rhythm, my mind going fuzzy with pleasure. This is the first time I've felt it since Daemon and I last had sex. Which feels like a long time ago.

After awhile the stimulation from his clothes isn't enough for me anymore and I roll onto my back, pulling off my shorts and undies and spreading my legs. I slip my hand down to my hole. I'm soaking wet, making it easy to push a finger in. It hurts a bit, and I'm hot and tight inside, my finger stretching me. I kind of understand why alphas fuck omegas now. It seems like it would feel pretty nice. Explains why Daemon fucked me when he didn't care about me at all. He only wanted sex, and I naively gave it to him. Gave everything to him.

I push a second finger in, wanting to feel more full. I start thrusting them in and out in desperation. With each slick slide of them, the pleasure in me builds. It feels good but it's not enough. I need more. I ram my fingers in faster and faster, but they're too small to reach as deep as I want them to.

They can't fill me how Daemon filled me. Every single inch inside me would be taken up by him, all the way to my deepest part. And it felt so fucking amazing when he'd slam in all the way. I moan out as I pretend he's inside me, pounding me until I cum. And even after I'd come, he'd keep going. He'd fuck me until I couldn't think, couldn't walk.

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