Saying Goodbye

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Emily's POV
        I wake up in the morning feeling better. I need to figure out how I feel about everything that's happening. I decide to go for a run to help both Sam and I to clear our heads before lunch with Mike. I get dressed and head downstairs. I go out the back door and into the woods. I get undressed and shift. Sam's fur is almost all white, she has gray at the tips of her ears and the tip of her tail. Other than that she's pure snow colored white. I start off slow but then pick up speed. As I'm running through the trees I notice how good it feels to have the wind in my fur. Sam is fast,  and happy to be free. I couldn't help but think about the dream I had last night. Sam and I talk about the mate bond I feel towards Mike. We talk about if we are healed from Liam. We talk about it all. My wolf is my best friend, even though we are one. I wrap up my run in time for lunch. I head back to the pack house. I see Mike in the dining area and he smiles when he sees me. His scent filling my nose.
        "Hey Em. Where were you?" He asks
        "I let Sam out for a run." I say sitting down. An omega puts a plate of food in front of me and I thank her.
        "How was the run?" He asks.
        "It was good. How was training?" I respond.
        "It's going good, I've been having to put in extra hours since I'm now going to be the next Alpha." He says taking a bite of food.
        "How's that going? The whole Alpha training." I ask.
        "It's a lot.. more than I thought. I just hope I'm good at it." He says.
        "I know you will be. You're great at everything you set your mind to."
        "Thanks Em." He smiles at me and reaches out for my hand. I feel the tingles at our touch and I know we need to talk about us.
        "So about this second chance mate bond. I've thought about it and I don't think the Moon Goddess makes mistakes. If she gave me a second chance at love I'm going to embrace it. But I want to be honest with you. I don't think I'm over Liam just yet, so I want to take it slow, if that's ok with you." I say. Mike smiles at me.
        "Em we can go as slow as you need. I know you loved Liam, but I have loved you as long as I can remember. I'll wait as long as I need to. I'm so glad the Moon Goddess made me your second chance at love." He says squeezing my hand. I smile at him. Mike is a good guy and I knew he'd respect my time. We ate lunch talking about our day and the pack. When we are done with lunch, Mike has to help his dad with Alpha training.
        "Hey Em, you think I could take you out on a date tomorrow night?" Mike asks before leaving.
        "Yeah that would be nice." I say. We hug and Mike leaves. I sit there for a few more minutes. When someone joins me at the table. I look up and see Brody. I haven't seen him since they left for the rescue. He doesn't look great.
        "Hey Brody how are you?" I say.
        "Hey Em. Not great." He looks around the room, almost nervously.
        "What's wrong Brody?" I ask
        "Em I can't stop thinking about Liam. Something was wrong about it." He says still looking around.
        "What do you mean." I whisper. Then the Luna comes in the dinning area.
        "I'm going to do some digging first, but I wanted to ask you something. Can we meet sometime this week in private and talk?" He asks. He doesn't wait for my response, he stands and leaves. The Luna sees me and walks over.
        "Hello dear." Luna Jackie comes and joins me at the table.
        "Hey Luna." I say with a smile.
        "Was that Brody? How is he doing? We're a little worried about him. He took it almost as hard as you did." She says with concern.
        "He still seems to be affected by it all. But I'll talk to him." I say
        "I think that might help. He just seems a bit lost." The Luna trails off. Then she comes back from wherever she was and looks me in the eyes.
        "I saw you and Mike here too. Should we resume our Luna training?" She asks raising an eyebrow.
        "Haha well it looks like we might have to." She has a huge smile on her face of approval.
        "Oh thank goddess. You are a born Luna." She grabs my hand in excitement. She was always so supportive and I'm grateful. We chat and talk about new things going on with the pack. We agree to start tomorrow where we left off. It's so strange how one minute I'm just a Betas daughter, then the future Luna, then back to a Betas daughter, now back to the future Luna.
        "Will we have to do another announcement event?" I ask dreading that.
        "No dear well have to do an Alpha announcement event. You will be presented there." She says.
        "Has it been planned already?" I ask hopeful.
        "Yes it's in a week." She says with a smile. I'm so glad I don't have to plan another event just yet.
        "Can I ask you something a little bit more sensitive?" I ask quietly.
        "Of course dear, anything." She says reaching for my hand.
        "Was there a ceremony for Liam?" I ask. She looks away, but I couldn't read her expression.
        "We had a small ceremony yes since we didn't have his body. I know we should have waited for you to be ready, but we also wanted to heal. It was actually held the day you woke up." She looks ashamed. That's this expression. I squeeze her hand, I know this was hard for her and her family.
        "I understand. You all deserve to heal. I was checked out for a while. I just.. didn't get to say goodbye." I feel tears forming but I take a deep breath to calm down. She smiles at me.
        "Honey go to the edge of the water and say goodbye. It might help." She says as she stands and leaves the dinning area. Maybe she is right. Maybe it will help. Maybe this is the feeling I have, I need to let go of Liam to move forward. So I go off out into the forest and make my way to the river, actually the exact spot where Liam had saved me when I was 6. I laugh at the coincidence. I sit down and watch the water for a while in silence listening to the wind in the trees and the animals around me. The smell of the forest surrounds me.
        "Liam. I just wanted to.." what do I want to say?
        "I miss you. I miss you so damn much. You said you'd come back, but you didn't. You left me. You left me with a hole in my heart and it hurts. It still hurts. I don't know if it will ever stop." I'm quiet for a moment as I let tears fall down my face and onto the ground.
        "I love you. I will always love you. But I have to let you go Liam. I have to for the pack, and myself. I guess the Moon Goddess really wanted me to be the Luna of this pack. She made Mike my second chance mate. I didn't even know that was a thing. I guess I'm saying all this to say, I can't be the Luna they need if I can't get past this, get past you." The tears are just streaming down my face.
        "I won't ever forget you or stop loving you." I sit there for a moment longer and close my eyes listening to the sounds of nature around me. I take in a few deep breaths to calm myself. I open my eyes and get up and head back to the pack house. I still feel heavy, but I feel hopeful. By the time I got back to the pack house the sun was beginning to set. I walk into my room to find Carol laying on my bed scrolling through her phone.
        "FINALLY!" she screams as I walk through the door.
        "Gezz Carol you're going to give someone a heart attack one day." I say as I wince to her yell.
        "Ha ha ha. I've been waiting for you for an hour." She says
        "Did you tell me you were coming over?" I ask.
        "Did you not get my message? I texted you." She says and I gesture to my night stand where my phone was laying.
        "How do you not have your phone on you?" She asks in shock. I laugh.
        "Because I live with or next to anyone who would need to contact me. Also mindlink. If it's really important they just mind link me."
        "I hate mind link. It's too invasive. I like my privacy." She says.
        "They can't read your mind." I say with a laugh joining her on my bed and grabbing my phone. All her message says is, "let's hang out" I look at her and point to my phone. She laughs at my expression.
        "Where were you anyways?" She asks.
        "I went down to the river. I wanted to say good by to Liam." I say and she puts down her phone. I'm fighting back tears. I need to be stronger than this.
        "Hey why don't we get some junk food, and preferably ice cream, watch some chick flicks and hang out the rest of the night?" She says with a smile. Carol is not super great with dealing with emotions. She is more of a shove it down, preferably with ice cream on top, and move on. Which in this case I'm grateful for. I smile and nod my head. She heads out of the room to get snacks and I look for something to watch. She comes back with two containers of my favorite ice cream, double chocolate chunk. Popcorn for her  and chips for me. I hate all food that get stuck in my teeth. I thank her for the snacks as I put on Downton Abbey. We veg out on my bed. It was nice. We laugh and chat after the episode is over. Then I put on another episode and she falls asleep, soon so do I.
        Dream.
        I am in the forest. Sitting on a tall rock looking over hundreds of wolves. An all white wolf comes and sits next to me. I feel completely calm, happy even. In the distance a dark storm roars. "They have come to take what is yours. Don't let them." The white wolf says to me. "How can I stop them?" I ask. "It's in your blood. You'll know" he says and then jumps down and walks towards the dark cloud. He howls and all the wolves howl with him. They take off running. "Wait!" I yell.
     

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