Welcome to the Neighborhood

THIRTY-EIGHT

early update 🫣

ONIKA POV

I was so in my head. But how could I not be?

The nightmare I had was traumatizing to say the very least. I mean having a dream about your dead husband and unborn baby has to be.

They were asking me how I could do that to them, how could I forget about them.

It felt so real, like he really feels forgotten.

If I really loved him, I wouldn't have moved on the way I did.

I feel guilt. How could I move on the way I did?

I wonder what he would think of Bey. I doubt he would like her, he wouldn't think she was nice enough to me.

'That's not how you treat a lady.' I know he would say something like that.

He was big on me getting respect from everyone. I'm more quiet and I let a lot of stuff slide but he never went for that at all.

I'm surprised he wasn't mad at me. I was the whole reason he died.

My stupid pregnancy hormones were the only reason we were even out the house that day.

Usually when people talk to dead loved ones in their dreams it helps them get closure but it was the opposite for me. It opened a lot of stuff up.

His birthdays coming up. I know that's why I had the nightmare.

It's been years but his birthday doesn't get any easier. It's the worst time of every year for me.

I used to make his birthday a big deal when it was alive. He didn't like celebrating himself much but I always made him celebrate it.

We would always invite people over to celebrate and I would bake the same cake for him every year. I still do to this day.

We would always have to go out to dinner first. He never liked eating in front of other people.

We would pick a different restaurant every year and after Aaliyah was born, we would bring her too.

It was such a big deal that now that he's gone, it doesn't feel the same.

I was glad Aaliyah was at school so I could cry in peace. I wasn't crying but if I wanted to, I could do it in peace.

Apparently I couldn't because someone rang my doorbell. Of course.

I got out of bed and slowly walked downstairs to the door. It surprised me to see Kelly at my door.

"Hey Kelly?" I was really confused why she was here.

"Hey. I know it's weird that I just popped up but you know how Bey is."

That's sweet. I love when she does stuff like this.

"Oh yeah, I get it."

"So are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"She misses you."

It really hasn't been that long. She told me to take my time so I was.

"I know she does. I miss her too." I really do. Every time I leave my house I'm hoping she's going to be out there and tell me to get in her car.

"She's outside right now, actually. Don't make it obvious that you're looking."

I looked past Kelly and Bey was in the passenger seat of the car but she quickly put the seat all the way back to hide.