Welcome to the Neighborhood

FIFTY-FIVE

BLUE POV

I really didn't mean to run away. I was just going for a walk but I called Kai on my walk and she said I could come over and talk.

She doesn't know I just left so it's not her fault. She lived close so I just walked. As soon as I got to her house, I powered my phone off.

She let me take a shower and change into some of her clothes. I chose an oversized shirt and loose shorts.

Her mom works nights at an ER so she wasn't going to be home until the moshing. She said she goes straight to sleep when she gets home so I can stay as long as I want.

We got into her bed and laid face to face. We were so close that our knees were touching.

"They didn't even notice me. I stood there for multiple minutes and the one person who said a thing to me was my mom's girlfriend."

"I'm sorry Blue, that sucks."

"Today was supposed to be my big day mad and they couldn't put their bullshit aside for one day. The only reason why I even still dance is for my mom, all I wanted was for her to say she was proud of me ow good job."

I lost interest in dance a long time ago. The only reason I still dance is because I know she can't do it anymore and she really likes that I can dance like her.

"I'm sure she is proud of you, even if she didn't say it."

"I guess. My dad is so fucking disgusting too, I just found out he's dating my moms ex who cheated and had a baby on her. He cheated on her too, how low can you get?"

"Both of them cheated on her? Damn, I feel bad for her."

"I do too. She's so hurt and she doesn't even know. It sucks that she has to be around the both of them now just because of me."

"I still wouldn't be around them, child or not. I would send notes with my child or something, fuck you."

"Right. It's even worse because on top of everything, he's almost 20 years older than her. What is his old ass doing with a 32 year old dancer?"

The whole thing is so fucked up.

"How old is he?"

"52. My mom is only 38."

"That's sick.

"This whole thing is. I can't be mad at my mom for that because I would be mad too but I just wanted some kind of acknowledgment. It's one thing to feel ignored but to actually be ignored, especially since today was supposed to be a big day for me hurts."

"Well I think you did a good job, even if I didn't see it."

I chuckled even though I was sad. "Thanks."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, what?" My heart started to beat, I hope she's not going to ask me about Nia.

"When you got here, were you high?"

"Uh..." I wasn't but I wasn't not, if that makes sense.

"I was just wondering, I'm not mad or anything. I just think that if you smoke every time you're upset, you won't be able to properly deal with your feelings without it."

"You're right but I can't deal with my feelings anyway."

I used to not be able to express my feelings without crying and now I barely cry.

"I still don't think it's good, but what do I know? Can I ask you another question?"

"Yeah." I was less nervous this time.