𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭 | carlisle cullen (2)

(𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧) come back to me

✧✧✧

ESTE KNOCKED GENTLY ON THE DOOR LEADING INTO THE STUDY. There was no greeting but she supposed she hadn't been expecting one. She stared at where the hinges were cracked, the metal broken. Carlisle had slammed the door with more force than he had meant to but he wasn't angry. He was just upset.

"Can I come in?" Este called hopefully.

Usually she would've waltzed through the door with a smile conveying she was going to ignore him whether he wanted her to or not. Normally she would've lain over the couch tossing around a paperweight and watching his movements because everything made her love him even more. Or she'd just talk, complain, about anything. He'd stare at her with so much admiration that she'd feel like she was on a stage.

"Carlisle?" Este pressed her forehead against the door, "please, I need to see you... I really need to see you"

She could hear him on the other side, breathing. Este wasn't sure what else he was doing. Maybe he'd already delved into yet another book about the complexities in vampires minds even when he had read every single one. Things like this didn't happen, problems like this didn't arise. Not to anyone else. It wasn't fair, it wasn't right.

A few seconds passed where Este feared what his silence might mean before she heard the broken hinges on the door whine and it flew open. She almost fell forwards with the weight that she had been using to lean on the door. He caught her shoulders before she could hit against him and Este wondered what he was thinking, she hadn't found herself pondering that for a while.

"Can we talk?" Este whispered as she stared up at him.

"It depends what you're going to say" Carlisle murmured, "can I talk first?"

"Yeah... yeah that'd be nice" Este smiled weakly, she heard the door shut behind her before she wrapped her arms tight around him and wished that she never had to let go. Maybe if she just became part of him, held to his mind long enough so that he could harbour her own. Este wanted him back, it felt like he was so far away even when she held him as close as he possibly could be. She could feel him hug her back, feel his arms around her but it didn't have the same effect anymore. It wasn't that she loved him less, her mind was forcing distance she didn't know to be possible.

"Come on" Carlisle whispered in her ear, stepping back as he guided her to the couch and sat her down. Este watched as he sat beside her, leant back against the cushions with exhaustion between his eyes. He angled his gaze to the ceiling for a moment and Este stared at the lines along his jaw and the veins in his neck before he captured her stare again and she could only focus on the pools of ebony that lay over perfection.

"Carlisle I love you" Este stated very certainly, "I will never stop loving you, no matter what I say... no matter what my mind taunts me to do—"

"I know" Carlisle interrupted, "I didn't believe you when you said you hated me, how could I?"

"I just wanted to make sure" Este stared at her hands, "because I don't know how many times I'm going to get to tell you"

"Don't" Carlisle spoke harshly, "I thought you said I could speak first"

"Go ahead" Este looked back up, "are you hoping what you're going to say will persuade me not to say anything at all?"

"Partially" Carlisle shrugged, "but I don't think it'll ever work"

"Probably not" Este straightened into her seat and wondered whether she should take his hand. Este had absolutely no idea what he was going to say next. She could've guessed and maybe she would've been right but in that moment she felt his mind was a stranger to hers and it was all because of this parasite. He'd never been a stranger, even when she hadn't known him.