This is based on that one dream I had. I have been dreaming about Baekhyun a lot these days and I'm not complaining hehehe. It makes me miss him more tho (｡•́︿•̀｡)
Warning: cursing.
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Marriage has its ups and downs. It's the for better or for worst part in the wedding vow that you swore to be involved with together for the rest of your life. Baekhyun and I promised to be there for each other no matter what will happen. And we really were there to solve the problem together whenever we find ourselves heading south.
But not on this one.
"Y/n, please. This isn't your fault." I can feel his hand on my back, gently caressing. "It's okay. We can try again."
"None of this is okay, Baekhyun!" I snapped, sitting up with a glare at him. Eyes teary, fist clenching in anger. "You can't say we can try again like it's so easy because we've been trying for three years!" right after that outburst, I felt a painful contraction.
I'm in labor- more like, induced-labor. The doctors had force me to go into labor so I could deliver my baby who no longer has a heartbeat. I still don't get it, why it has to be our family? Why it has to be now when we're supposed to meet our son in two months and this had to happen?
"You never wanted kids,"
"You wanted kids," my voice cracked as I tried to speak through the pain. "I wanted to give you kids even when I used to swear I won't have one."
I was a woman with strong principle of what I want in life. I made it clear that I want to be single for the rest of my life, no kids, have lots and lots of money so I can spoil myself. I once believed I was meant to die alone.
But Byun Baekhyun's existence singlehandedly defied everything I believe I wanted for myself. He made me bend my principles and made me believe that maybe I'm not meant to live alone for the rest of my life. Now I'm married to the most wonderful man I've ever met and was just about to have his child if this didn't happen.
"We can always try, love. And if we can't have children, at least that means you can have me raw every time you want." I couldn't surpass the giggle at his playfulness trying to lighten the mood. That was enough to put a smile on his face.
We will be okay.
"Okay, honey. You're ready to deliver."
I breathed deeply and quickly searched for Baekhyun's hand and he catches it, intertwining our hands as he stood straight beside the bed. All ready to take my strong squeeze he's about to get all throughout the delivery.
Tears filled my eyes as soon as I realized... I gave birth to a lifeless baby. No cries, no movements from our little boy. I can't hold him... I told myself when I saw the doctor wrapping him in a baby blanket to at least make him look alive when held.
"Do you wanna hold him, sweetheart?" asked the kind doctor.
I looked away and sobbed, pressing the back of my hand on my lips in attempt to stop them. I couldn't even look at my teary and sniffling husband while all he did was to hold my hand, gently reminding me that this wasn't my fault, and then kiss my forehead every time.
"I want to hold him." Baekhyun steps in. I let his hand go when the doctor approached him.
He carefully took the baby into his arms. "My love... He looks just like you. Take a look."
Liar, I thought. He just wanted me to hold him, knowing that I'd regret it if I don't. I took a deep breath, gathered my courage and pushed all the doubts away as Baekhyun's words rang in my head. We'll get past this, we can try again. This isn't my fault.
