Our Toxic Love

Chapter Twenty Nine

*Ethan's POV*

I think I have a drinking problem.

This is my sixth bottle of beer tonight. And I'm smoking my second pack of cigarettes. But all that doesn't matter to me as long as I feel loose and emotionless.

"Ethan!" Nina snaps. "Would you just listen to me?"

I would but you're annoying as hell.

Did I say that out loud? I really should.

"Ethan this isn't fucking good for you," she goes on. "The party started like an hour ago and you've already drunk too much."

I blow the smoke into Nina's face, showing her that I really don't care what she thinks.

She coughs then glares at me.

"You've done worse," I slur.

"I have, like, two cigars a month," she says. "The most I've had is three cups of beer during parties. You're going a little overboard."

I have the strangest sense of deja vu as I see everyone dancing happily to the noisy music while I sit here, drinking away what I have left of my consciousness.

"Ethan, talk to me," she says. "Tell me what the hell's wrong with you tonight. You were okay on Friday."

I lazily roll my eyes. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not. I can tell."

I stand up, losing my balance and almost trip as I take my beer and cigarette with me. I start to make my way outside the house to the backyard where it's completely empty.

To my disappointment, Nina follows.

"Get the fuck inside!" I tell her. "I'm okay, Nina, can't a guy have a few drinks for Christ's sake?"

She hesitates. "This is about Ariana, isn't it?"

"Why do you all think it's always about Ariana?" I demand.

"Because everything's been about her for the past few weeks!"

I fling my empty bottle of beer on the wall next to the closed glass door leading inside. It shatters.

"I swear to God, Nina, the human body has, like, billions of nerves and you're getting on every single fucking one of mine."

"I'm not Matt, Ethan, you can talk to me. Tell me what's going on, I'm your friend no matter what, okay? I can help you."

"I don't need your goddamn help!"

"Then what do you want?"

"What I want? I want... I want..." My thoughts are jumbled up now and my brain is foggy. Where's my beer? "I want Ariana."

There's a moment of silence.

"Where's the beer?" I slur.

Nina rolls her eyes. "I feel so bad for your liver right now."

I need a drink. Thoughts of Ariana are coming back and I don't want them. The only way to get rid of them is to keep drinking. I've never experienced this before. I've never felt so angry because a girl sees our kiss as nothing.
And I see it as something. Jesus. I sound so gay.

"You want Ariana," Nina repeats. "What happened, Ethan?"

I feel something inside me suddenly crack.

"She said it was nothing," I yell. "She wants Matt." I start to tug on the roots of my hair. "The first time I'm not a complete jerk with a girl and I actually don't want just sex with her, she's into Matt. Matt." I want something to throw. I grab a flower pot from the corner and throw it. It cracks in half as it hits the wall and falls to the ground. "Is he better kisser than me?"

"Matt's a little softer," Nina says, tilting her head.

"I can be soft," I say quietly. "She can just ask for that."

She shakes her head. "Damn, are you whipped."

"I don't know!" I yell. "Fucking Matt!"

"Ethan, you can stop yelling now."

"Shit crap fuck," I fumble for words to express my anger.

I then push past her and walk back inside. Beer beer beer beer. I need beer. Heh, beer's a funny word. How drunk am I right now?

"Ethan, come back here," I hear Nina say as I shove through the crowd to my favorite couch.

It's only when I slouch down on it that I notice Matt making out with a girl.

"He has STD," I lie to the girl.

She pulls away and stares at Matt for a second before getting up and leaving.

Matt glares at me.

"Seriously?" He says.

"Yes."

Seconds later, three brunettes walk to Matt, grinning widely. They're wearing thigh-length dresses.

"Miller, you look like you should have some fun tonight," Matt says. "Amy looks like your type."

Without warning, of the girls sits on my lap and wraps an arm around my neck.

I really don't want this right now. I'm not in the mood. But if it'll help get Ariana out of my head....

She leans in to kiss me and I don't stop her. I don't know if it's because I'm drunk or something, but I feel nothing. Not a single spark. No sudden surge of electricity running straight to my dick. Nothing. But I continue to make out with her anyway.

But Ariana finds her way to my head again. I need a stronger distraction.

I pull away from her and grab a beer, standing back up so she slips off my laps.

"Come with me," I slur.

I grab her arm and lead her to Matt's empty bedroom.

Author's Note
SoOoOoOO I really hope you're enjoying the story till now. I still can't believe how much progress it made in just a week and I really appreciate all the votes and comments more than you actually think. I love you guys so much for this x
And bloody hell don't apologize for any comments, I read them all and they crack me up omg I can't with your reactions>>