Our Toxic Love

Chapter Forty Two

-Ariana's POV-

I feel like all memories of last night were erased from my brain. I remember absolutely nothing.

My eyes are still closed. I feel someone's arms wrapped tightly around me and something solid pressed to my cheek.

When I finally look up, I see Ethan asleep next to me. At first, it doesn't bother me, but then I notice he's shirtless. Then I frown and take a peek below the sheets. He's naked, this can't be good.

My heart starts to pound as I see that I'm not wearing a single article of clothing either. Panic overwhelms me. I quickly try to untangle our legs and back away from him. I wrap the sheets a little too tightly around my body, making sure I'm entirely covered though it won't even matter. He's probably already seen everything he wants.

Ethan stirs and looks up at me. His brows furrow.

"You okay?" He questions sleepily.

I just woke up in bed with you after a party, I'm entirely naked, I have no idea what happened last night and my heart is also beating way too fast but like yeah I'm perfectly fine, thanks.

"Why're you naked?" I ask, my voice quivering. "Why am I naked?"

"Ariana..." He starts to say.

"No, no," I say, getting off the bed.

The sheets are dragged along with me and his entire body's exposed but he doesn't seem to care. I notice a huge red spot in the middle of the bed. It's my blood, isn't it?

I walk over to the garbage can. My legs feel stiff and the lower part of my body is aching. I almost lose balance as I see the used condom inside it. All the signs are in this very room but I just can't bring myself to believe it. I didn't have sex with Ethan. I didn't have sex with him. I didn't. I couldn't have. I wouldn't.

Would I?

I glance at Ethan. He looks confused and slightly ashamed at the same time.

I struggle to breathe as I walk back to the bed and take in his expression.

"We did it, didn't we?" My voice is trembling now.

"It's-it was just sex," he stutters, looking down -- he reminds me of an innocent little child who accidentally broke his mother's vase or something.

"Just sex?" I almost whisper.

I don't know what hurts more. The fact that he got what he wanted from me and thinks it's nothing or that I lost my virginity to him.

I rub my temple. My head really hurts and Ethan's constant silence is making me even more apprehensive. I need to know what happened last night.

"Is this what you wanted?" I snap. "Are you happy now?"

He gets off the bed and finds his boxer, pulling it back on to cover himself.

"What are you talking about?" He demands.

He doesn't look guilty anymore. He seems annoyed -- frustrated even.

"You were trying to protect me from Matt because he wanted to 'fuck' me, Ethan," I say, my voice raised. "Well guess what? I just woke up and found you in bed with me instead."

"I don't know what you're getting so worked up about!" He argues. "You're the one who was practically throwing yourself at me!"

"I what?"

What the actual hell is he talking about?

"You kissed me," he explains further. "You took me upstairs. You told me that you wanted sex."