Our Toxic Love

Chapter Sixty One

-Ethan's POV-

When we get to my house, I hold Ariana's hand and quickly lead her up the stairs quietly, making sure we're not heard.

"Why're we sneaking in?" She whispers.

"Because if my mom hears us I swear she won't leave us alone," I hiss urgently.

She clamps a hand to her mouth to keep herself from laughing and follows me upstairs. I quietly open the door to my room, letting her in first.

I glance around me and silently curse myself for not cleaning the room. But it doesn't really matter anyway. It always gets messy eventually. The second I close the door, I catch Ariana off guard and press my hands to her jaw, kissing her like she's life itself and I'm holding on with every ounce of energy I can to keep from dying. I just couldn't hold it in.

"I've missed you. So. Fucking. Much," I say between kisses.

Tonight's been almost perfect so far. I managed to make today special for her and it brings me utter joy to realize that I'm the reason she's happy.

Ariana withdraws from the kiss to breathe again.

I kick off my shoes and allow my back to fall to the surface of the bed as I rest my head on the pillow.

"Who's home?" She asks, still breathing heavily.

I pat my lap twice, gesturing for her to come over. She hesitantly takes off her shoes too and sits on my laps, straddling me.

"Probably everyone," I reply. "Except my sister," I add somewhat weakly.

"I don't think I've seen her yet," she frowns. "Where is she?"

If I start talking about this, I'm gonna choke up. And if I choke up, Ariana will have to spend the entire night trying to make me feel better. So I save both our asses now and try to change the subject.

"She's not home," I say quickly. "How was tonight?"

She smiles. "Perfect."

"Really?" I press on.

"Yes," she replies.

A couple of months ago, I would've never imagined myself here at this moment with the girl I love... the smile of. The girl whose smile I love, I mean. Fuck, I've been doing this all night. I know that my feelings for Ariana go a little deeper than just 'liking her'. But saying 'I love you' is a whole new step and I don't know if I'm ready. I've never said it to any girl before. Well, except my mom when I was younger but that's a whole different story.

"Have you ever even been in a relationship?" She asks.

I shrug. "A few." She gives me a look. "Okay, a lot," I admit, "but never real ones. I could never stay in one for too long. But this time's different," I add quickly.

Her hands slowly wander to the waistline of my jeans. She suprises me by unzipping it.

"Do you trust me?" I ask abruptly.

-Ariana's POV-

Do I trust him?

I think this through. Being here with no one else but Ethan relaxes me in a strange way. It just feels right when I'm with him. Like it's supposed to be this way.

"Yes," I say. "I really do."

He runs his hand down my arm. My skin begins to tingle.

His eyes dart down to his unbuckled pants and I feel myself flush. I don't even know why I did that anyway.

"I don't want you to feel pressured," he says softly.

I know what he means. Ethan is used to having sex involved in his relationships and he doesn't want me to feel like I'm forced to go through with it. I already lost my virginity to him anyway but the memories of that night are vague and it upsets me that I don't remember my first time that well.

"I'm not," I tell him quietly. "But this time I'm sure."

He sneaks his hand under my dress and caresses the side of my stomach.

"Do you regret it?" He asks.

"No," I say honestly. "I'm glad it was with you."

Ethan lifts my dress over my head leaving me half naked -- dressed in only my bra and panties. I don't remember how I felt when I was drunk -- being completely naked with him. But I can't help but feel insecure about my body now.

Ethan pays no attention to my shyness as he continues to gently stroke my skin.

"You're beautiful," he tells me.

I try to hide my smile as I tug Ethan's jeans down his thighs then tossing them aside. I move my focus to the shirt, thinking that I saved the best for last. I tug at the hem of it first before pulling it over his head, messing his hair again.

I run my hand down the ripple of his abdomen, my body burning with anticipation. I'm aware of Ethan gazing at me, a smile playing on his lips as I seize the opportunity to feel his perfectly built abs for once.

"Stop staring," I mumble.

"Come here," he says, pulling me closer.

He straightens up and our lips brush against each other. His hands move to the small of my back while mine caress the back of his neck. He bites my bottom lip and sucks on it, making me shiver with eagerness. His tongue slips into my mouth and his lips begin to move against mine. I lace my fingers through his hair as he entices a groan.

Ethan gently pushes me onto the surface of the bed and grinds his hips against me. I moan. His hands travel down my body while he nuzzles his face into my neck and peppers rough kisses, swirling his tongue around my skin. I feel a pleasurable burn between my thighs.

"Ready?" He breathes.

"Yes," I hear myself moan.

Red creeps down my cheeks and neck as Ethan slips off my panties. I tug his boxers down to distract myself. He reaches for a packet in the drawer of his nighttable and rips it open, taking out the condom inside it and rolling it on.

I spread my legs and he enters me. I feel a brief pain at first but it soon disappears as he moves out then fills me again. Pressure builds inside me at that continuous action but it's more blissful than painful.

"God, yes," Ethan hisses as he thrusts into me.

I bring my bottom lip between my teeth as I moan. Ethan leans forward and supports his weight on one arm. He plants a small kiss at the corner of my mouth before I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a deep, hungry kiss. His warm, wet tongue laps around mine and he swallows my moans as he continues to slip in and out of me. I slowly move my hands up and down his smooth back while his patterns grow a little faster. I withdraw from caressing his back and run my fingers through his hair, tugging at the roots. I feel a pang of satisfaction when he groans.

He grips my thigh and wraps it around his waist as his mouth suddenly moves to my chest, biting and sucking at my skin. I begin to moan his name and I sense his excitement as his paces get faster.

"Fuck," I hear him moan as we both come undone.

Ethan moves out of me and collapses next to me on the bed, breathing heavily. He rolls the used condom off and tosses it on the ground. I'm too exhausted to care about his sloppiness. A layer of sweat covers his skin, making it glisten. I move his sweat-soked hair off his forehead. He leans closer to give me one more deep kiss.

I lean my head against his chest and listen to his racing heart. I smile to myself as I wrap an arm around him and he holds me close to him.

"I love you," he says quietly.

My heart skips a beat as I look up to find that he's serious. I feel tongue-tied for a moment before I suppress a smile.

"I love you too," I say.

Sleep overwhelms me before I have time to see Ethan's reaction to my words.