Our Toxic Love

Chapter Forty Five

-Ethan's POV-

I haven't talked to Ariana for a month and a half.

I always find myself gazing after her as she walks past me at school. But I quickly look away when I see Nathan walking side by side with her, his arm around her shoulders.

I have to admit, Ariana's life has gotten better ever since I stopped talking to her when she said she wanted space. No one provokes her anymore. No one has any rumors to spread about her. Actually, I think everyone knows that everything that was said about her was never true now.

"Are you okay?" Nina asks me.

I just came back from the hospital. I was checking on Sasha. My dad came back home weeks ago.

I'm now slouching on Nina's couch, a bag of chips in one hand and the remote in the other.

"I'm fine," I say, my eyes on the TV.

"You've been like this for days," she sighs. "Where's the bad boy Ethan that parties every day of the week."

I shrug, focused on the boring documentary about health insurance.

"You're so whipped," she shakes her head. "Is this because of Ariana or something?"

"No," I lie.

"You're just so bored with your life, Ethan. You haven't even gone to a party in weeks. Hell, you haven't stepped foot in the gym for days."

Nina grabs the remote from my hand and turns the TV off.

"Hey, I was watching that," I argue.

"No you weren't."

She sits on the couch next to me and grips my face firmly, turning it to look at her.

"Look," she says, "I haven't seen you grieve for a girl like this since... forever. Talk to me, Ethan, tell me what's wrong. What's so different about Ariana? Why're you like this?"

I hesitate. "I've just been feeling empty these days. Emotionless."

"And you felt something when you were with Ariana?"

"It's complicated. I like her a lot. And when we had sex it was different. I just felt like there was more emotion behind it. But she's been with Nathan for a month now and she's happy so I don't see why I have to go ahead and ruin this for her. I almost broke them up during the ski trip and look at where it landed me."

"Ethan, you can literally have any damn girl you want. If she's with someone else then stop being so hung up on her."

"I don't want any girl. I want Ariana."

Nina grabs the bag of chips and places it on the table.

"I was eating that," I glare at her.

"Well now you're not," she rolls her eyes. "Ethan, if you don't want to give up on her, then get your fucking lazy ass off my damn couch and do something about it."

"I already told you, she's happy."

"She'll be a hell of a lot happier with you if you'd bother trying to get her back."

I shake my head. "She wants space."

"Fuck space. Go get your girl."

-Ariana's POV-

My arms are wrapped around Nathan's neck and his are on my waist. I press my lips harder against his.

We're on the bed in my room. His back is resting against the headboard and I'm straddling him.

It's been a month and a half without Ethan. I feel a strange emptiness without him being there to annoy and tease me all the time and I can't seem to get rid of it no matter what.

My feelings have grown for Nathan though. At first, I wasn't sure about our relationship. But now I'm completely convinced that I really like him and he likes me back.

"You know?" Nathan mutters against my lips. "I don't think your dad likes me at all."

I shove his shoulder playfully. "He doesn't like anyone, Nathan."

He nods. "Yeah but he really hates me."

"He hates everyone."

He grins. "Your birthday's coming up. What do you have planned?"

I shrug. I haven't really given it much thought. I'm turning seventeen in a couple of days but it doesn't feel special. I guess sixteen years of birthdays just got old.

"You've never had a party, right?" He questions.

"Nope," I reply, planting a kiss on his jawline.

"You should have one this year then," he says, supressing a smile at my action.

"I don't know, I'm not really into parties," I admit.

"Why not?"

My first party was a disaster. My second one was a huge mess. So I've decided to completely delete the option of ever going to a party again.

"I don't know, it's not my thing," I reply.

"You're turning seventeen, there has to he some way we can actually celebrate it."

"I'm perfectly fine with spending the entire day with you, Ethan."

He stares. "What?"

I frown. "What?"

"Did you just call me Ethan?"

"Uhm, no?" Did I?

"Yes... Yes, you did. You called me Ethan."

He gets off the bed and I slip off his laps.

"Nathan, I didn't even notice, it was just an accident," I say.

"Yeah," he runs his fingers through his hair. "But..."

"Your names are similar anyway. Nathan, Ethan..."

"You're not still thinking about him, are you?" He asks hesitantly.

"No," I lie. "No, of course not. There was nothing between us anyway, Nathan. It was just some toxic relationship. We don't even talk anymore, remember?"

His expression softens. "Right, yeah."

He supresses a smile then sits next to me on the bed.

"What was all that about?" I ask.

"You two have some weird connection," he says cautiously. "I don't know how to explain it."

"Don't. Let's not talk about Ethan."

He smirks. "Let's not talk at all."

He wraps an arm around me and pulls me into a kiss.