I sat on the bench at the door of our bed. My stomach was in knots and my heart was full of sorrow. Monster came out the bathroom but energy shifted when he seen me.
What's wrong? He asked sitting next to me.
It's negative! I said disappointed.
Why you crying?
I don't know....maybe it's some part of me that wanted to be pregnant. He pulled me into hug him.
Baby sometimes the timing isn't just right. This wasn't our only chance to have a baby. We still young and got nothing but time.
I know but that's something i wanna be able to share with you. Having your baby....I don't know....I just wanna have that experience with you.
And we will. It's probably god just saying not right now. You have to graduate school first and become a teacher! Start your career! Enjoy life, travel a lil more. Your 18 and married with two kids already. We have nothing but time baby!
I know.....
Fix your face. Stop crying! He smiled hugging me. I leaned in and kissed him. How did I get so lucky to have somebody like him. He got up to go to his closet and dry off and get dress. I got up and put the test in the garbage. My feelings was a little hurt. I wanted to give him everything including a family. A baby of our own. Yeah he has Austin and Ja'Kari isn't biologically his, I want one made of both of us! I may be young but I'm ready and I know what I want. And i literally have it all, just missing that. I'm some sense I just want the perfect family I guess.
I got in the bed with him and cuddled up under him as he turned the tv on and found us a movie to watch. I was getting a headache so I ended up fall asleep.
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I woke up to the alarm going off and I was to tired to even get up. But it was half way through the semester and I just wanted it to be over already. I was drained. I got up and went to the bathroom to shower. I actually felt sick a bit.
After a numerous amount of time I had spent I was finally done getting ready and Dre was outside waiting on me. I fixed the kids breakfast and my husband breakfast than left out.
GoodMorning Dre Dre! I said handing him a plate.
GoodMorning sis you ready?
Yeah, I just made you a bowl of bacon, eggs, and grits nun fancy today! I laughed.
Shit cool with me cause I'm starving.
Want me to drive so you can eat?
No it's cool!
You sure? I don't mind!
Yeah I'm good ima eat and take a nap while you in class.
Alrighty Brighty! I pulled out my book and looked through it studying a lil bit more as he drove. I had a test in Psychology today and I wanted to Ace it so bad! My grades was so important to me. I just know I could do it.
He pulled up to the school and I rushed inside before I was going to be late. I hated being late. I took my seat all they way in the front and on the left. I felt like this was the perfect spot for me.
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This day was dragging for me. I been at school all day. I was hungry and sick. I finished din my last class than ran out the school. Dre opened my door for me and I quickly got in.
Ice cream? He asked unsure.
No! I opened my door and threw up.
Are you okay? He asked giving me a bottle of water from the back.
I'm fine can you just take me home I just need to lay down. I said wiping my mouth.
He pulled up to the house and I felt really warm like I had a fever and like I was going to throw up again. I ran upstairs to my room and into the bathroom. I leaned over the toilet of hoping my insides would come up instead of me gagging.
I reached over into the garage can and grabbed the pregnancy test out just to make sure I wasn't tripping from what I was seeing.
