His Worth | MxM

twenty four

I saw Worth looking at me awkwardly as we were in our room after the party. He looked like he wanted to say something, but something was keeping him from saying it. It didn't matter to me if he said something or not.

After all he said to me...? What is there to really say?

"Which side of the bed do you want to sleep on?" I just ask him plainly, seeing him look at it still with nerves. "If you can't decide I'll choose for you. I was just trying to be nice."

"I like to sleep in the middle." He tells me and I glare at him. "But because I'd want to lay close to you. I don't want to be separated by sides."

"Well, I want to be right now so...I'll choose the right side." I say firmly.

Walking out of the room now, I go into the bathroom so that I could get ready for bed. What else was there to say now, really?

As I'm starting the bath, I heard him walk into the bathroom too. He looked at a loss like he had something to tell me. I wasn't going to push it because it was the most obvious thing that he had words for me. I couldn't decide if they were good or bad, but I knew it was something.

"I don't know what I was thinking when I said what I said... I just...fell back into that mindset like I want to still protect him! I don't...want to protect him anymore and yet...I went off on you and said horrible things. It can't even be taken back or blamed on anger because it all came from somewhere. I had to have believed it to some extent for me to say it so easily..." He tells me, and I still just look at him. "I'm sorry... I'm not used to this. I'm not used to someone caring about or for me this much. I've just screwed that up. The one person that cared about me and I hurt him."

I saw him look upset by his actions more, sitting on the edge of the tub. I walk to the counter to be some feet away from him and he looked offended by that.

"I get it, you have trauma that is clouding your judgement. I understand, but you said some...foul things to me. You don't say stuff like that to someone you love. You offended me greatly, I have never been so offended and hurt before in my life-."

"I'm sorry." Worth whimpers, his hands running over his thighs as if to wipe the nerves away. "I always do this! I say shit that I...I don't want to say and I shouldn't say! I ruin what I have people and they start to hate me..."

"I don't hate you." I shook my head, sighing at him. "I'm just disappointed and hurt is all. You should've known better than to say what you said. Especially in front of all of your friends, then they're calling me out of my name. You hate the word 'bitch' right? Well, a friend of yours called me that very easily; but you were so caught up in how horrible of a person I am."

I shook my head at him, it was ridiculous.

"I am the horrible person. How could I say such things to you?"

"Don't ask me, ask yourself." I shook my head, going to the tub as I turn the water off. Right when I was going to walk away he grabbed my arm.

That was the last thing I needed in my opinion. Him clinging to me like this. Especially when I'm upset with him because then I really won't have sympathy. My sympathy is absolutely nonexistent right now pertaining to him.

"I...have asked myself-."

"Well ask again." I yank my arm from him now, and he looked hurt again.

I don't need that...that look like I've done something wrong. Don't do this to me like I didn't try my hardest to help his ass and then he makes it out to be like I did it for a revenge tactic? If I really wanted revenge I would've just left his ass in there and had him charged for real when he tried to get revenge on me!