His Worth | MxM

² eighteen

Worth .

"They're all gone?"

I stood before Nate, grinning down at him as he looked up at me in wait.

I nod surely, seeing him purse his lips. "I promise. I spoke to everyone that needed to be out of my life. They are now...gone. Even Micah..."

When I say his name, Nate's eyes widened at that. I already knew he was worried I'd give in or not stick with my own promise.

To remove the bad from my life, but I have no choice.

I wanted...to remove all the bad from it; and Micah was a lot of the bad. Even though he's my brother...I had to let him go. We didn't have that normal brother to brother relationship anyway. It was almost like some deal or bargain, not anything normal.

"If his kids ever want to visit him though, I'll take them." I tell him, seeing him look at me with uncertainty to that. "Or do you think that's not a good idea?"

"We'll see. You need to see about what your mental state is at that point. I wouldn't want you to be in a horrible mindset and then going to see him. I want you to be strong enough to make your own decisions without easy interference." He insists, going towards me as he rubs my back.

I look down at him with appreciation, pulling him into my arms as we hug. As we hugged and I was holding him to me, I realized something.

We haven't done anything together in what felt like...months.

Nothing sexual, nothing romantic, nothing at all. All we've done is kiss, but that wasn't anything too crazy.

I remember...when it was painful to keep my hands off of him. I now have him all to myself, he's mine; yet...

As I held him close to me, I didn't want to just have that crazy sex that I once had. I used to want to just...fuck, but now it's weird for me to imagine that.

For me to imagine even having sex in such a way.

Actually...even the idea of doing it sounds like a lot.

I think the meaning of sex has been kinda ruined for me after everything. Because I have no interest in doing it, and I only realize that because my mind is so clear.

What about him though?

I look down at him, seeing him still holding onto me. He wasn't...initiating anything and he didn't seem like that was on his mind.

Except I'd be lying if I said I don't know how he is. He likes when I initiate it for particular reasons. I haven't been initiating anything in a while.

"Does sex still cross your mind?" I just ask him outright.

When I do, I felt his grip around my tighten. His body almost molding against mine in a way and I try not to smile at such a thing.

This is serious!

"It does, but I know you've been busy. I don't mind...doing it with you whenever you feel like it. I like it anytime, but it's also just up to you."

"But what if I lost interest in sex?" I ask him, and I see him look up at me in confusion. "Sex just doesn't...appeal to me right now. Especially with the trial and how stressed I was. It doesn't sound like a...good idea."

"Oh?" Nate pulled back now, shocked to hear me say that it seemed. "Do I not arouse you?"

"That's not what I'm saying at all." I chuckle, and he wiggles his eyebrows. I instantly could tell that he was just messing with me...

Or was he?

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It's Christmas Eve!

how fast time flies~

- yolo 🧦