His Worth | MxM

² thirty one

Worth .

"Good job."

I stood before the mirror in the hotel I checked into, chuckling as I step back from it.

"Even the one person who always had your back gave up on you, if he can give up on you, then anyone can. I'm just as much of a screw up as I thought I was." I snicker, looking at the calendar.

The trial is now going to become a retrial. Nate wasn't lying when he said he was going to say something.

Now I have no idea when...the new date will be set. It took a year and a half for me to finally reach the date of when it all starts. So...that means, I just have nothing but time on my hands.

I can go back to school and get that...stupid degree that I don't even want anymore. I don't want to do much of anything.

School is a lot, the trial was a lot, my life was a lot...living is a lot.

Just when I was about to question my own reasons for living, I hear my phone go off. I was surprised by that because no one usually calls me. The one person who would, would usually be Nate; but I know it's not him.

We're on a break.

So when I saw it was his parents, I was even more surprised.

Especially with the words they told me, and where I ended up next.

"You're...letting me stay at your house?"

His mom and dad nod, my eyes reluctantly going on Nate's father. Since I know he was the last person he spoke to. I am aware...he probably got Nate to the point of saying those words to me.

"You didn't think everyone just gave up on you, did you?" Nate's mom smiles up at me, grabbing my arms as she pulls me towards her. She looked directly into my eyes and I could see that maternal love...I think? "Malakai?"

"Yeah...I did." I sigh, pulling away from her. "I shouldn't be here. Nate took a break from me, so... It's probably awkward knowing that and yet you still invited me here."

"Because you're like a son to us too, silly."

"How? I know Nate's dad is the main reason it's come to this, so there's no way... Everyone is just done with me, so how come you two aren't either?" I found myself saying to her.

I saw her look over at his dad who was already looking at me. He was quick to gesture for me to follow him and I didn't mind at this point.

Following him upstairs, I was clearly taken into his office. As I sat across from him, he seemed to be avoiding to look at me initially.

I think?

Because I kind of wanted to avoid looking at him too.

"Who do you want to live for?" I suddenly asks me.

I look at him in confusion, just to frown as I look away from him.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" His dad exclaims somewhat, looking away from me immediately. "Malakai you have a lot to work on when it comes down to yourself."

I don't respond to that, remaining silent as I continue to sit here. He peered back at me for a moment and then sighed, standing up from his chair.

"Nate...loves you, and I know you love him too; but the direction you two were heading down was toxic and one-sided. You care too much for people who don't care for you that way. Look at it like this: would you let someone treat Rue the way they've treated you?"

My eyes widen on him, seeing his mimic mine. As if he could tell that he probably...just a good point.

I never really looked at it that way, but I can see how I should've.

"I wouldn't want Rue to deal with weaknesses and pathetic sides of me." I start, watching as his dad begins to nod. "I wouldn't want her dealing with the shit I am dealing with my own mother, my brother, the issues with everything. I wouldn't put any of that onto her...and yet, I've somehow done it to the one who's helped me create her."

Lowering my head, I felt kind of...sick to my stomach. When I put it into perspective like that...if I was Nate, I would've broken up with me. If he had I would've probably...done something with my own life.

Because then there is no point in living. Rue wouldn't necessarily need me...but I know I can't go about it like that, yet I can't help myself.

It's always been either someone needs me, or no one needs me at all. I didn't have my parents and look how I turned out...

She needs both of us...at our best to become the best version of herself. To be raised properly without any issues or nonsense.

I...was becoming that nonsense.

I need to break that cycle, I just don't know where to start; or how to do it right.

"Where do I begin?" I found myself asking his father. "I feel like this case is...not what I am interested in anymore. I don't want a trial, I just want...this to be over. I want to move on, I don't care to enact revenge, and this case just continues to rehash the past that I'm trying to forget. Is there a way...to end this?"

"If Michael puts in a guilty plea, then yes. His lawyer would need to be informed and he would need to be given some kind of deal. Pleas...usually are usually just lighter punishments-."

"That's fine." I interrupt, nodding insistently. "I've already spoken to him. I have already forgiven him...if a plea can be made, I'm fine with that. I just want this shit to be over."

His dad nods, but he doesn't break his stare from me. I found myself becoming concerned because...did this come with a price-?

"Are you sure you want to settle with a plea? What if-?"

"I don't care. I just want to get my life together. I don't want this case to begin to define my life. I don't want that jail to, my parents to, or my brother to define me. I need to fix everything, starting with this stupid trial. Yes, I want to do this." I interrupt him, completely certain.

I want to move forward from this, and now that I'm certain I'm not alone in this... How can I not take this chance?

I can't let them down just as much as I let Nate down. I want to be able to impress him the next time I see him.

Be a better version of myself that can help not just myself thrive, but him too.

He deserves that much from me.

______________🙂

- yolo