His Worth | MxM

² fifteen

Nate .

"I want to talk to you."

I stood before Worth, looking down at him as he sat on the foot of the bed. He looked at me nervously and it didn't take a genius to guess why.

Every time I had spoken to him in the past, it never ended well. It always ended in such an...odd way.

"About what?" He asks me quietly, folding his arms to his chest. I could tell that he didn't really want to talk about anything. I already knew why, it was because he assumed we'd speak on the same things.

On the things we spoke about before and what made him angry, that made me angry. That frustrated him, that frustrated me.

"I just wanted...to ask how you're doing." I breathe, resting my hands on his shoulders. Worth's eyes widen on me in shock to me asking that question and that...really made me sad.

The fact that he appeared surprised that I asked was not a good thing.

"I'm doing...just as fine as I could be."

"No, I want the real and true answer," I insist, sitting beside him now, "Don't say what you want me to hear, tell me what you're feeling in your heart. How are you feeling about everything recently? I just want you to...talk to me. Talk to me about stuff such as that."

"So...talk about what I'm feeling?" He repeats slowly.

When I finally nod, he just stared at me. Almost like he was trying to figure out why I asked. Except the only reason why I was asking was because I just want him to be well.

I don't want him...to be stressed anymore.

"I feel...exhausted and just over this, to be honest." Worth tells me truthfully.

My lips tighten together at part of his sentence, feeling slightly nervous from that. I saw him continue to look at me as if he was expecting me to say something. Except when I didn't, he looked back forward.

"I'm over this trial, over my family, over life... The constant burden of this case and the more I sit in that courtroom, the more I realize how I wasn't ready for this yet. I wasn't ready to bring everything up to the surface and relive it all again. It's exhausting, because I want to move on from this, but at the same time...I want to see them get in trouble. I want them to suffer like they made me suffer. It may not be the same but...it's something to me." Worth explains, and he begins to remove his coat now.

I watch him stand up from the bed and look down at me. His eyes soft on me to my surprise despite the serious conversation.

"I realized how I was pushing away others to kinda...soothe my ego. I thought I knew what I was putting myself through, and to hear others tell me I was a victim...I hated that. Even though there's nothing wrong with being a victim per se, I just...didn't want to be one. I was unconsciously protecting myself again, but from the wrong people." Worth grins at me, only for his grin to falter some. "But it's still a lot. This is all a lot, and then my mom comes in... Micah is acting like he cares, and I'm still unsure on my dad."

"Your dad doesn't matter." I speak up quickly.

I saw Worth raise his eyebrow on me when I say that. Except I was one hundred percent serious about that.

His damn dad...doesn't fucking matter.

"You're right," Worth finally says as he begins to change his clothes, "he doesn't matter. If he doesn't want to meet you and Rue, then he's not fully meeting me. You two are a part of me and if I go there with just me, he's not fully meeting me."

"Yeah...that's right!" I exclaim confidently for him.

I see him smile in appreciation to that, but it didn't reach his eyes. I could tell that he was still...keeping something from me.

That look...reminded me of when he was in prison and he wanted to hide something. Whatever that something was, he would hold it in until it broke him.

I didn't want it to get to that point again.

"Malakai...if there's more you want to tell me, you can." I get up from the bed, standing before him now. We both look at each other and I saw his eyes lower onto my lips.

I look at his momentarily, but when I do I see them lean to mine. Feeling his lips touch mine after what seems like forever, his hand cradling my face.

This kiss felt more emotional than it ever did. As his hand held on firmly to my face and his body was close to touching mine. Except he didn't, and when he pulled his lips from mine, they were only pulled back by a couple inches.

I saw his lips tight together, and the pain in his expression.

"Malakai, what? It's okay-."

"I think I'm depressed, Nate." He tells me in a shaky voice, his other hand cradling the other side of my face. "There's just been too much shit coming at me at once and I'm tired of it. I just have no interest to try anymore, I want to give up on all of this. I...don't even care if I win this trial or not. I don't even want to complete college anymore, I just want to lock myself away. Away from...any more of this shit. I'm just done; yet, I don't want to just give up."

I felt my eyes water as I saw a tear slip from his eye and down his cheek. Causing me to wipe it away, I saw him cry even more.

"But it's so hard..." He croaks.

"I know...I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, I just wanted someone to talk to about this. Thank you for asking about how I felt today because I was just...so tired." He collapses against me, hugging me tightly as his breathing was coming out in tremors.

My heart tightened because it broke my heart to hear that. There's one thing I am happy to say though...I'm happy I asked him.

Because what if I didn't?

Would he have...done something similar to my dreams?

I would lose my mind if he did.

"Anytime...I love you Malakai, you...you are worth the worth of the world to me."

_________________🫠

when will that sadness end?

it can't...it won't last forever.

right?

- yolo🥢