summer
"how was your date with m.a?" I ask naomi as she removes her makeup.
"how did you know it was with her?" she asks squinting her eyes.
"you're forgetting that I'm friends with both of you" I laugh lowly rubbing ada's back as she is falling asleep on my chest, mae is already passed out and rolled off of me.
"it was good, it was cute" naomi says scrunching up her face, "oh and bil is coming over tomorrow" she says giving me a nervous smile.
"it's cool, I'm out of the house tomorrow. ada is going to be with my mom and I'm treating myself on a solo date since I'm lonely" I joke making her laugh.
"you deserve it" she shrugs changing her clothes, "we actually bumped into billie today at the restaurant and it turns out she had just recently got back in touch with m.a as friends" she informs.
"she was talking about how she just needed time off and shit but then she apologized to both of us about how she was shouting that day and on saying how we had the right intentions" she shrugs.
"yeah?"
"mmh" she nods getting on the bed and takes her daughter into her arms, "I never personally knew billie before but m.a was just going on about how good she seems" she says watching my reaction.
"good for her" I shrug as I start softly braiding ada's hair.
"how does that make you feel? and the way she's talking on interviews, you never talk about that"
"what is there to talk about? I'm not going to reach out to her and tell her to stop but also it's hard to heal a wound when you keep touching it" I shrug.
"there isn't anything to talk about but I'm glad she's good" I add turning onto my side a bit, "you don't mind if I crush here do you? I'm too tired to get up" I ask her.
"nope, go ahead" I nod pulling the covers over me and cuddle ada into my chest.
every now and then we do all crush together in one bed but I have my own room and noami has her own room.
mae and ada share a room with one bed big enough for both of them, but that's only if they don't sleep with us.
"do you think maybe you will give billie another chance eventually?" naomi asks eventually into the quiet room, I let out a sigh opening my eyes.
"no. I don't trust her at all, she has really hurt me and I know there is someone that's going to treat me good out there, I just need to find them" I shrug.
"I really loved billie, my heart is saying yes but also no because we can't handle the heartache. I don't think I can handle that mentally too, I mean I'm a mother now, I don't have the time to be dragged along and let my heart be played with. I just can't" I say shaking my head slowly.
"I get it" she whispers out, "I wish the best for you, you deserve all the best honestly and I'm sorry she didn't give you that" she tells me and finds my hand to give it a squeeze.
"it's okay"
