one, one: the still before the wind

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she did not want this. this was not something she wanted at all. but that is the problem because in fact she did. she had been with people before casual flings and hook-ups. people she could not care less about. so why was she here, laying on a boy's bed. his head between her legs. but not in a sexual way. a movie played softly in the background, she watched as the kids smiled and danced around the great hall. a familiar song being sung but all she could focus on was the boy whose head laid between her knees. he hummed as she brushed her fingers through his hair, the blonde strands as soft as ever. why was he so different? at first, they were just hook-ups, after drunkenly kissing at dusty's birthday party just year. they saw different people during the times they were not hooking up but eventually the odd one or two hook ups turned to many. then to just hangouts. like this. her laid in his bed watching a movie with him. she liked him. it was clear to see. but she never got the guts to made it official even though they acted like a couple. but she did get the confidence once, not like she would remember it.

"what's wrong?" spider's hum came and she looked to find him looking up at her.

"nothing. just admiring." she mumbled glancing back to look at the sea of stars twinkling high above them. she was captured by the stars, much like other girls. but it was comfort. to know that people loved the stars and the moon just as much as she did.

"yeah, me too." he smiled, and she glanced at him again. he was still looking at her. and then came the hot flush over her face. cheeks reddened as he flashed a grin.

"oh, shut up." she spat grabbing his pillow and using it to cover his face as he just laughed. trying to fight her off. the pair falling into a fit of laughter on his bed. he could not help but comment how pretty she looked there, he always made sure to tell her. nobody was like mara. he was a dick, and she was a slut. but away from all those eyes they were not 'spider' and 'slut'. they were just spencer and marianne, mara and spence.

"pash me." he grinned. leaning over her. puckering his lips as she smiled. his hands trapping her on the bed as her own lifted to his face. watching his eyes flutter as she brushed her thumb over his cheek. leaning up to kiss him, he expected their lips to meet in the middle. but he never got the watermelon flavoured kiss. instead, she licked stripe up his cheek as he gagged.

"you're disgusting." he gagged as he pushed her back against the bed as he shot up to wipe his face but before he could she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. bringing him back to the bed.

"you love it really."

"rack off." he mumbled but she finally pressed her lips to his. reminding how much she pulled him in. he was like a drug. she always wanted more. but to him, she was a god. maybe it was the watermelon flavoured lips or her hips. maybe it was the round boobs that he was obsessed with squeezing. maybe it was her hair and how it falls so pretty around her face. or her eyes that shined brighter than the stars in his opinion. or just maybe it was marianne darling. yet they had reputation to upkeep.

"you done the english homework?" she asked as he pressed the softest kisses to her neck. reminding her of the little clothing she wore. a pair of his red boxers and his basketball jersey. she heard him hum an answer between her shoulder and it most likely was no.

"you look beautiful right now mara." he spoke softly, a tone he could never been seen talking in at school.

"do i?" she questioned as he raised her shirt, fingers tracing patterns on the soft bare flesh.

"always." he grinned leaning down to press kisses on her boobs. and in true spider fashion a hand raised to her right boob. cupping it perfectly in his hand and squeezing lightly. cheeks aflame and heartbeats rise. the air suddenly grows thick. she wanted this. him. but they were at school tomorrow. but all those thoughts disappeared as her eyes landed on the golden chain around his neck. a simple chain, a thin one but one with much sentimental value. the letter m hung in the middle. pressed against the dip where his chest was.

"do you want to watch the maze runner?" he questioned, pulling back from her noticing her looking. a large grin plastered over his face, and she smiled.

"you know me so well." she smiled softly. brushing his hair from his face. and eventually the two were found on the bed once more. her face pressed against his bare chest. leg hooked over his. fingers playing with the letter around his neck. the words she wanted to say caught in her throat as he brushed his hand through her hair. feeling his soft hum from his chest. all she wanted to do was tell him what she really wanted to say.

when she awoke the next morning, she had less than an hour to get ready before her first class. she knew spider would not want to walk with her, so she grabbed her now dry clothes from his desk and changed. leaving his jersey neatly folded on the pillows before she snuck out.

"where the hell have you been?" her mum's voice came the second she climbed through her bedroom window. sighing as her feet touched the wooden floor. her mother stood in the doorway in her work uniform. the girl just grumbled a response as she passed her mum. making her way to the bathroom to brush her teeth. hearing her mother cursing as she went down the stairs.

"fucking fathers' child." she heard through the women's bickering. see cindy and anthony, her mum and dad broke up when cindy fell pregnant with mara. obviously making the older women blame her for everything. it was mara's fault that they did not use protection and her mum was stuck with a pathetic excuse of a daughter. like it was mara's fault she was working a shitty shift in a shitty job just so she could put food on the table. it was mara's fault for her mother's addiction to alcohol and smoking. mara did not know her father. the only photo she has was from when the two were in high school. two months before cindy realised, she was pregnant. he looked like a dick anyways. her mum had already gone by the time she changed. so, walking to school was her only option. grabbing her headphones and a slice of jammed toast her mum had left on the shoe rack, she left for school. humming the tunes with every step. getting closer and closer to a place she would rather kill herself then attend too on most days. ms potato head played through her headphones as she glanced across the school. she could see spider, and his friends sat on a table bickering with each other. she hung her head as she passed. not expecting much interaction from the boy who seemed to ignore her in school yet worship the ground she walked on outside. yet he spoke up.

"where's the boyfriend of this week?" he shouted up and she threw him a dirty look. he drove her insane. he was like a light switch. he was hot and he was cold. if he were a song, he would be hot and cold by katy perry. his mood chances more than her hairstyle. which is very often.

"bite me." she snarled hugging her english book closer to her chest. jekyll and hyde. how fitting for spider. his friends laugh at her comment, the chorus off ooo's ringing in her ear as she carried on. sighing as she carried on the familiar path to her locker when a load voice broad through the chattering courtyard. 

"oi, there's a fully gacked sex map in the old stairwell."

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