LITERAL LEGEND 🕷 HEARTREAK HIGH

one, thirteen: but never in the mirror

"chook." he whispered. using his free hand to pull a set of car keys from his pocket. stuffing them back in before anyone else say them. he handed her a bottle of whiskey and he led her to the front door. once again enjoying the sting of fresh air on her cheeks, the air much clear and smelt less like alchol. but she couldn't decide what was worse, the group of sweaty kids rubbing against each other in there or the boy who stood on the street waiting for cash.

"see you brought your girlfriend?" he commented, and she wanted to be sick. their was enough words in the dictionary to explain how badly she hated this fucker. absolutely fucking hated the prick. cash wrapped his arm around mara, bringing her closer. keep up the act. he didn't want them hurting her. not like he had ever stopped the backseat shannigans.

"i wanna go home." she mumbled to cash as he grabbed the keys from his pocket. lifting them up for the boy who grinned like some kind of tiger baring it's teeth at prey.

"that's okay princess. we'll give you a ride." chook laughed as he snatched the keys from the pair. slapping her arse as he went. and cash did nothing about it. he couldn't, she had to remind herself. just giving her a look before the two climbed in the car. ignoring her reflection in the cars mirror. but instead of dropping her off immediately he picked up his friends. one by one. meaning she got squashed between them in the back seat out of sight of cash. she ignored the sting of tears as their grubby hands groped at her. ignoring the burning touch on cold skin. touching at her bare thighs and grabbing her arms. deal with it. don't get in trouble, don't get hurt. she just dealt with it until the finally pulled up to her house.

"thanks for the ride, chook." she spoke, practically crawling over the guy to get out. ignore the look. she gave the boy behind the wheel a smile. fake it. when he tapped his cheek. asking for a kiss. but before he could the person in the back was asking to swap with cash. he immediately nodded, getting out and hugging her.

"im so sorry." he mumbled under his breath, knowing how much she hated the group and how they treated them. pressing his cheek against hers, to the group it looked like they kissed. the act. they started whooping and hollaring for more. but to mara and cash it was a moment of forgiveness. she didn't want him getting hurt for speaking up.

"love you bye." he spoke and she nodded. before he could even sit down properly chook was speeding off. she wishes the car would crash and cas would be the onlu survivour. she manifests their plan to rob a store fails and they get caught whilst cash runs for it. and she ran for her room. rushing past her mother who say in the living room fast asleep. she shuts the door behind her. wanting to crumble to the ground straight away. she turned. starting at the reflection staring back. she stood weakly, arms dropped and shoulders slouched. face drawn in and tired eyes. she hated her reflection. and it snapped. she fell to the floor like a puppet cut from strings. what was she doing wrong. hasn't she given enough. she couldn't do anything right, she was a failure. so she cried, and cried. curled in a ball on brr bedroom floor. she cried for what she had done, for what she said. for what she couldn’t do nor say. she had got rid of a baby  she couldn't tell if she did the right thing or the wrong thing. it was definitely the right thing but she was too messed up to realise what she was thinking. and that's where she eventually fell asleep. a trashed up room. some time during the night, a slowly sobering up boy stood at window. tapping rocks on the glass. the lights were on but nobody cane. the girl didn't peek her head out the windows and smile down at him like she did. inside he got no reaction, and spider carried on home.

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also i may or may not have been listening to anti hero when writing this. oops. and yes it's lowkey kinda shortt