The Eyes That Make the Storm

90) Complicated

 On Saturday mornings, Stasia sleeps in, waking up at six. She'll reach for her nightstand, slowly pop in her glass purple eye, blinking a few times until it adjusted, and get out of bed. She'll go down the hall to get Bakugou, and Midoriya, and occasionally Shinsou will come too. They'll all run as the dawn shifts to day and come back to the dorms for breakfast to eat with the rest of their class. But this morning is different, Stasia skips the run and she skips breakfast. She doesn't even leave her room until eight.

She had been staring in the mirror for an hour and a half. Even after the months that had passed since the fight, she sometimes still can't get used to her eyes. She doesn't look much different but to her, she doesn't look like herself. Which is a perfect discussion point because of what today was. The first Saturday of the month, because then, she has counseling.

With Hound Dog, because apparently out of all the staff he was the most qualified, she couldn't complain though, he was a good listener.

Stasia knocked on the teacher's lounge door as she opened it, saying, "Hey, Mr. H- what the hell?"

"Hello to you too Nastasia," All Might greeted her.

"Where's Hound Dog?"

"Something with his little sister having an emergency. So...I am here."

"I'm supposed to talk to you about my problems?"

"I understand if you don't-"

"Do you ever not wanna be a hero?" she asked, and took a seat, ignoring the shock on his face.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Do you think about that question a lot?"

"I think....my whole family has almost died almost five times in the past year. I think I wanted to be a hero to protect people like my little sister, but at the same time, I can't remember the last time I spent more than ten minutes with her. I think that every time I uncover something from my past it comes back to bite me- or kill me. I think I have one eye that I can take in and out like it clocks in for a work shift. I think the adjustment of my visual perception is really-" she paused and took a shaky breath, "really hard. I think not only did I not have a normal childhood, I didn't have one at all, and that I'm not gonna have normal teenage years, that I'll always be looking over my shoulder. I mean- I don't even think I can have a normal life."

"Nastasia-"

"What?" she asked defensively.

"Do you not want to be a hero?"

She takes a long time to answer, at least a minute before she swallows and confesses, "I wish I didn't have to be." She swallows her pride, "I sometimes wish I had a choice to not."

"You always have a choice."

"Like how I did two months ago? Because that mission with the Mortel wasn't a request, it was an order, one that only I could fulfill. What was I just supposed to quit there? Cause I didn't want to? Just let them keep killing heroes, huh? Maybe let them kill my dad? Eri? Just to get to me? No, no, I don't have a choice, never have, never will."

"Nastasia, All For One is never getting out, and neither is Mei, League of Villains is disbanded. Yes, there are always going to be villains but none are yours to fight personally. If... if you wanted to quit, and leave this life behind, now would be the time."

Stasia shook her head. "I have this feeling, I don't know what it is but, I don't think it's over."

"What's not over?" All Might asked, growing weary.

"The battle, my battles."

"That doesn't make me feel safe," he confessed.

"What do you mean?"

"Every time you go in you come out worse ."

"I come out stronger."

"You come out less of yourself, you even said that yourself. I don't want to see you go too far, past the point of return."

"You mean like you?" she asked, genuinely questioning without a hint of malice.

"I just worry."

"I know."

The room swelled with silence and she cleared her throat to break the tension. "It's that I don't want to be a hero. I do. I just-"

"I know," he said and she smiled.

"Thank you."

Her phone buzzed and when she checked the notification, her smile grew wider.

"Kirishima?"

"No, work. As I said, it's complicated."
"Be safe."

"When am I not?" she asked as she got up.

He didn't speak, just tapped his eye mockingly and she rolled hers.

"Bye Small Might."

"What was that?" he asked as she took her leave.

She called out, "you heard me!"