Forbidden Desire

Chapter 11: Foretaste

A/n: Update out of the ordinary but I wanted to inform you all, that I posted the first chapter of a smut book, so you can send me requests or wishes. Just wanted to let you know.
Feel free to check it out ;D 

TW: being drunk, yelling

Pov Natasha

I lock the door behind me and get out of my shoes before turning to look at y/n. She's still sitting on the little bench.

"Can I help you to get out of your shoes?" I ask carefully, knowing she is drunk but still making sure I'm doing nothing against her will.

She looks at me, her eyes not seeming to really focus before she nods a little and I kneel down to get her shoes off. I offer her my hand and she takes it, letting me pull her up and lead into my living room, where she flops down on my couch.
For now, I let her be there and go to my kitchen to wash my hands and get us some water. I also grab a bucket, just in case.
She sits in the same position when I come back and I hand her the water bottle.

"I think you should drink some water." I say and sit down next to her, placing the bucket under the coffee table. She takes the bottle and opens it, taking a few sips.

"Why you being nice to me?" She slurs a bit, looking at me.
I bite the inside of my cheek, not sure what to do now.
I could answer her but considering the condition she is in, there is a chance she won't fully remember this tomorrow. Besides, I'm not sure if it's the smartest idea to have this conversation while she's drunk.

"How about we have this conversation tomorrow?" I offer, trying not to sound cold. She shakes her head but stops again as it seems to make her feel worse.

"You never want to talk to me!" She says angrily and I can tell it has been building up for a while now.
I sigh because I know she is right and I would be angry too if I was in her place.

"It's a little more complicated." I try to ease the situation but it only seems to make her even more angry.

"Yeah? Tell me...what's so complicated about it...-tasha." She says, the anger not helping at making her words clearer. But weirdly enough, I still like when she calls me Tasha, even if it's by mistake.

"It's complicated because I'm your professor." I explain as if she doesn't know that herself. She rolls her eyes and gets up, a little unsteady on her feet.

"Well, then I shouldn't be here..." She gestures around the living room and takes a few steps towards the hallway, swaying a little and I am quick to get up, in case she trips.

"Please, you're drunk and I don't want anything happen to you." I explain and she spins around fast, anger in her eyes.

"You can't always do that!" She presses out between her grinded teeth and beneath her anger I can see hurt.
"You can't pretend to care about me and then push me away!"
I reach out a hand, to keep her from tripping as she walks back into my living room but she pushes it away.

"You fucking hurt me, Natasha!" She almost yells and her eyes tear up a little. It hurts me to see her this way, especially knowing that I caused this.

"I'm sorry, it just seemed like the only way." I try to explain myself, knowing it sounds like a cheap excuse. She huffs.

"You can't just kiss me and almost fuck me in your office and a week later pretend as if nothing ever happened between us and be distant af!" She shouts and I can't judge her for yelling at me, knowing I lowkey deserve this.

"If you want me, we can figure something out but if you don't, just leave me alone. Don't fucking play with me. I have feelings, Natasha! God dammit!"
I never heard her cuss so much and it only underlines her anger. Her words are surprisingly clear and it seems as if the anger sobered her up a little bit.

"I didn't mean to play with you, that was never my intention. I just didn't know any better. There is so much at risk for me." I explain and she looks at me, her eyes a little hostile, covering up her hurt feelings.

"This is so messed up." She mumbles, sitting down on the couch again and grabbing her water, taking another few sips. I hum in agreement and sit down as well, leaving some space between us. I'm glad she's a little calmer again, even though I would have understood if she yelled at me more. She rests her head in her hands, staying in that position for a while.

"I feel a little sick." She mumbles silently and I grab the bucket, placing it in front of her. I'm not sure what she needs me to do right now, so I just sit next to her and watch her.
She looks at me, her eyes a little glossy before groaning a little and leaning back.

"Maybe you're right and we should have this conversation another time. Your face got kinda blurry and my body feels heavy, I just want to sleep." She whines a bit and I hand her the water bottle again. She drinks the rest of it but still looks a little pale.

"I think some rest would be good, yeah." I agree with her and she turns her head to look at me.

"If you don't talk properly to me tomorrow, I swear, I will be mad." She says, her words slurring again but this time it seems to be more out of tiredness.

"I will talk to you tomorrow, I promise." I say and slowly lift up my hand to her face. She watches me but doesn't pull away or anything, so I brush some hair out of her face.

"I will sleep on the couch." She tells me and I breathe out.

"You don't have to, you can sleep in my bed, it's big enough." I offer but she shakes her head.

"No, I don't think that's smart. Besides, I don't wanna get up anymore." She declines and I nod, her reasons seem very valid.
"Alright, but how about we change you into more comfortable clothes?" I suggest and she looks at me, her eyes narrowed a bit.

"Are you trying to get me naked?" She asks and I shake my head.
"I would never take advantage of you being drunk or even tipsy or in any other situation. It's just an offer, so your sleep will be more comfortable." I explain and she slowly nods.

"Okay." She agrees and I smile a little and get up to get her clothes. When I come back, she still sits in the same position as before. I put down the clothes next to her.

"I'll be in my bedroom, changing as well. I'll come back in around five minutes, is that okay?" I ask and she nods slowly and I make my way to my bedroom to change into my own sleeping clothes.
I also grab a pillow and a blanket for y/n.

Five minutes later, I step out of my bedroom and slowly walk into the living room, glancing inside to see if she's changed and she is, so I walk in. Seeing her in my clothes is kinda hot but I push that thought away and give her the blanket and pillow.

"Do you need anything else?" I ask and watch as she lays down instantly and snuggles into the pillow and blanket, absolutely adorable.

"No, I think I'm fine." She says and I nod.
"The bathroom is on the left side of the hallway, opposite of the living room is the kitchen, there is water if you need some. My bedroom is on the right side, you can come in if you need anything." I tell her and she smiles a tiny bit, her eyes slowly closing.

"Okay, thank you." She mumbles and I smile and have to resist giving her a kiss on the head.

"You're welcome. And good night, y/n."
"Good night, -tasha." She replies before falling asleep.
My heart makes a little jump at the name and I turn around to leave the living room, switching off the lights and going to my own bedroom.

I lay in bed and look at the ceiling. Today didn't went as expected at all but I can't say that I think it's bad.
Maybe it'll be good if we talk about whatever this is tomorrow. It won't be easy but hopefully it will clear up some things.

A/n: Well, y/n was able to give Natasha a but of her opinion...

Also, the time between updates feels sooo long. Do you have ideas for a different upload schedule? 

Thanks for reading and love to you all <3