Chaos

Stupor

Lucille said she would sleep in my room tonight as per our earlier agreement. I understood that much, but she hadn't given me an answer to my question; about whether she was going to leave me or stay.

I'm a sinful creature and psychotic. I should, in theory, be planning to manipulate her into staying or locking her up. I did think about that, but maybe it's because of my experience; I don't feel it's fair to do that to her. She would not be happy, and that would not make me feel better.

I let her do as she pleased, but I couldn't sleep, and neither could she. Lucille was lying on her right side with her back toward me, and I was laying on my back, looking up at the ceiling. I was contemplating leaving her to rest in this room; I felt very nervous about her. She is a living being with a fixed amount of time on this Earth; I don't believe I can even begin comprehending her thoughts.

We'd both bathed (separately), removed the makeup and changed into our nightclothes. Lucille said nothing more to me through our bond and out loud. It's apparent that I'm the reason she can't sleep.

I turned over and picked up the slip of paper as it lay face down on the nightstand and folded it back up without looking at the picture. What should I do with it? Should I burn it?

I think I should... but I can't bring myself to do so, even if it's the right choice and even if I can't bare to look at her face. I should put it somewhere, maybe, for safekeeping.

For now, though, I should leave so Lucille can get some rest. I got up and went over to Lucille's side. She'd closed her eyes, pretending to sleep or trying to. The roles had kind of reversed since her abduction; now, she is the one avoiding me.

I rustled through her nightstand where I kept all of her medicine and picked out sleep medication, resting it on the nightstand table and pouring her a glass of water.

Take this. I will be back.
I opened the door to my bedroom and closed it behind me in my exit. It was the afternoon; the sun illuminated the estate in its golden hour. No one was up and about except for the handful of servants who kept the halls clean. I didn't know where I was going, but I ended up heading toward my study, which was inconveniently placed beside Azrail's. He would probably be waiting up for me, waiting for me to fill him in.

The day was too calming; I could almost forget that I had revealed a life-changing secret. Actually, I wondered why I was okay at all. I felt this numbness cascade over my worrying thoughts, like a cool fog over my brain. This is probably what they call disassociation, something shared with those with DID.

It's strange to consider that other people live in my head; the more I think about it, the more disconcerting it is. I should busy myself with other affairs; I no doubt have a plethora of work on my hands after the debutante: invitations, business offers, marriage proposals, and the prize for The Cage.

What was the prize again? A siren?
Of course, House Diathyst housed the prize in a private warehouse, so I could have it transported here- but what would I need a siren for? Torture? That would be interesting.

I unlocked my office doors as I had reached them and stepped inside; it was soon after my entry that Azrail joined me in my space. He wasn't sure how to broach the subject but tried to do so, albeit awkwardly.

"Chaos." He greeted.
"Azrail", I answered. I clicked the intercom to summon Artemis to her duties.
Elijah was likely very tired and already deep asleep. I had him responsible for escorting the new acquisition, Ryoshi. I will summon him later as well.

"Are you okay? Do you... want to talk?" He sat down without invitation, and I did the same. I leaned back and gave him a relaxed expression- it was a testament to the fact that I might be okay. However, this turn of events might affect my duties as his heir, so I should notify him of said changes.