Chaos

Absence

"Lucille, you've already read my thoughts, you know I have to go."
I sat outside the bedroom door, my back leant against the doorframe. Azrail left not too long ago after my agreement, and so i've been trying to convince Lucille why it was beneficial for us both if I left.

After more consideration, it was more rational to leave Lucille here. Not only was she this pack's Beta, but I also didn't want her in a coven full of vampires. My only concern was her safety.

"You won't be staying here-"
"I can hear you loud and clear", she spoke softly. From the sounds of it, she was just a breath away from the door. I stood up and faced it properly, imagining her face beyond the dark wood.

Lucille continued. "What you're saying... it makes sense, I understand."
"Good, then you'll-"
"But i'm hurting", she croaked.

My throat closed up, It was like I was about to cry. My whole body groaned, my heart thudded painfully in my chest, causing an ache in my fingertips. I clutched my chest and rested my forehead on the door. I felt as if I couldn't breathe.

"My heart says no, and my whole body seemingly hurts because of it", Lucille sniffled and stifled a whine. So this was her feeling, it's terrible...

"I have to go, not only am I wasting away here being a lapdog for your pack, i have a coven of my own I have to take responsibility for." I was being a busybody, a freeloader. It was partially a lie, but I couldn't quite decipher if sitting quietly beside Lucille for my whole life was going to cut it for me; If Azrail was part of my destiny after all. "This has something to do with my past, I just know it-"

Lucille carefully opened the door, her head bowed and face hidden beneath a curtain of long dark locks.

I reached forward and wrapped my fingers in her hair, pulling it aside as I tenderly lifted her chin. This carefulness was so natural with Lucille; Her soft skin, tanned and golden fruition in her cheeks made gentleness inherent. You couldn't help but be mesmerized by her beauty, and in her eyes, was something of Spring bloom erupting from her iris'.

She held my hand there and we stood like that for awhile. How and why she endured my cold touch, was a mystery to me. Lucille will always be a mystery to me. She silently let me back inside the room and we fell asleep together.

The next morning I awoke to the golden goddess sleeping in my embrace, my nose tucked in her hair. Lucille's soft breathing and calming scent lulled me back to sleep and I awoke again later in the evening to find that she had left. I groaned and sat up in the bed. The fact that she got away without me noticing was embarrassing enough as it was. It meant I was getting soft.

I threw the sheets off myself and walked into the bathroom for a quick shower. I liked to stand beneath the hot water and have it ease away the hidden tensions. Lucille claimed it was far too hot for anyone to bare, and the quickly fogging windows and mirrors seemed convincing too. But it felt like her, I said, to be enveloped by such warmth.

I changed into a dark green turtleneck body suit and plaid green skirt before heading to the basement. To do so, I had to exit through the backdoor and onto the broad porch. On any other day, I might've simply sped to my destination. Today, I took my time.

Opting to slow down helped me appreciate the now. I felt the seconds pass by, every cold breath, and better, the howling wind thrashing the trees about. Today there was a feeble, chill breeze below the grand bushes, picking up light strands of my hair into the air. My hair was still pretty long, reaching jaggedly to my backside- straight and still, like the dead. I hated it.

I picked it up with my hands and twisted it around, heading inside briefly to grab a hair tie. With that being done, I gathered myself toward the basement once more. 

"I know you're awake, you flinched when I opened the door. You're looking better today", I spoke as I stepped down the creaky, dark wooden steps into the concrete-walled basement. It was significantly darker in here compared to the faintly lit outdoors. It was gloomy and stuffy in here; it was airy and tranquil up there.

"So... tired", the boy spoke. He laid slumped on his mattress, not a single muscle lifting above the stained cloth.

"You're tired because you've overcome your cursé, now tell me, how did you get that bite?" I sat on a nearby chair, the one I had him tied to previously in the corner of the room.

"I..." He finally sat up and looked around, his hair clouded his eyes from me, I wasn't sure he could really see. "I don't remember-"
"Stop lying, you should remember a gigantic wolf taking a chunk out of you."

"It was there when I awoke", he muttered. He stared at his hands in silence, slick with unknown substances and dirt. Surely there were no leaks in here? I shifted carefully and looked above subtly for cracks and such in the ceiling. None. Then it was blood on his hands.

"You were put there then", I spoke aloud. "By who?"
"I don't know-"
"Do you know anything, runt?" I hissed. I gritted my teeth together in disappointment, I wasn't getting much out of him again.

He was silent once more and laid back onto the bed.
"What's your name and age?"
"Elijah." He said softly. "I think... i'm 112, but I don't know."

"Stand up", I said.
He didn't comply right away but did so eventually. He appeared very weak as well. His arms were thin and his face, gaunt and ghastly pale, especially for one with such deep chestnut skin. He stood up but his legs shook, unsteady and ready to collapse. When Elijah's legs did give out, I took him up, my right arm around his waist and his left arm over my shoulders.

We went outside and he squinted, holding a hand over his eyes from the gentle rays. When his nocturnal sights had adjusted, Elijah begun to cry. He stared at the sky, he felt the untamed wind, unabashed foliage swirling about the air, landing dead amongst numerous other fallen peers.

I doubt it was all Elijah thought, he saw the world with new eyes. It wasn't just about survival and blood anymore, it was about life and death. We felt it both, being vampires. I wish captivity truly had a positive impact on my perspective, but it hadn't, not like it had for Elijah