Chaos

Random Plans

Lucille and I spent the night in my room. I was not tired, so I watched her sleep soundly for a good while. Before going to bed, she brushed my hair and braided it, and I did the same for her.

Her face was fully relaxed, and her breathing was steady. However, it took a long time for her to fall asleep. I had assumed it was because she was still uncomfortable with me, but it might also be because of the new puppy.

I lifted my hand and touched her eyebrows, stroking with the direction along her brow, her temple, her hairline, and her ear. The scars were completely gone now, but was she safe with me?

The puppy took to her immediately, probably because Lucille was a werewolf. Unfortunately, we did not get to have her transform today, but tomorrow she should meet Ryoshi and make her transformation.

Lucille was disturbed in her sleep; she slung her arm over me and readjusted her head on my chest. I could feel her breath on my skin, as the silky nature of my shirt did not bind well to the buttons. Her head was just beneath my chin.

Lucille continued to slide her right leg between mine, hooking my left leg and pulling it between hers.

The puppy was sleeping in her bed. It seemed like Lucille liked it a lot- enough to forgive me? But was that really the case?

I had planned to gift her the siren but thought otherwise, as I didn't know she would appreciate a captive creature. The puppy is no different, but it won't be able to seduce her into providing its freedom as a siren would. A siren is a dangerous gift and was in use to torture Ruby in the dungeons. She got plenty of good facilities, like food, water, and shelter. Maybe I should grant her some freedom and place a tracker on her.

Perhaps I can use its abilities to unlock other identities. It ultimately would not be safe to rely on a captive siren; that's why I consider the momentary release; I could somewhat gain its trust.

The voice that answered my call told me to 'wait'- as if it would eventually reach out to me. I did expect to meet some resistance to my re-entry to the headspace. In doing so, I might get lost, and other identities may take over if there are any.

I don't like being kept in the dark, but this being was not an identity; I could trust it to some extent. To think something like that exists in my head- explains why my brain functions are so quiet.

Lucille hugged me again, and I wrapped my arms around her shoulders. Her scent and warmth were making me drowsy.

I thought she would...
I squeezed her slightly tighter and deeply breathed in her scent.

I was scared she would leave me.
I was also scared of how I might react- being that I am a psychopath. 

But my bribe worked; Azrail is useful sometimes.

I closed my eyes and decided to drift to sleep. I don't usually dream when I sleep because I'm always on edge and a light sleeper. This time, however, I did, and I was able to unusually quickly.

I had a dream that I was reading in my cell. I read about history and economics, finance and business. I read how to play chess and how to play the piano, and I learned about psychology and biology. I learned about the universe through astronomy, physics, the ocean, and different countries. My life and the world outside were the makings of my own imagination; things I read and looked at, I had to imagine the Earth as it was in my mind. 

I watched myself from the one-sided window as I got older and taller.

In the beginning, I was 4 feet tall, with long black hair and big silvery eyes, my lashes were long, but my face was slim, as were my legs and arms. My nails were long too, but not yet talons, only overgrown. My hair was matted, and my skin was bruised.