Can I Steal Your Heart? - A LawLu fanfic

(Law) Chapter 35 - Shame

Trigger warning: non-graphic mentions of past sexual assault

Law's urge to runrunrun had never been stronger than it was now, as unwanted memories surged to the surface. He managed to force himself not to give the order to leave again, but he made it into his room almost as quickly as if he'd used his powers, slamming and locking the door before throwing himself into the furthest corner from it. He did draw up his power then, making a bubble that just barely encompassed his own legs. He began switching his hat with other things in the room, trying to drain his stamina as quickly as he could.

A knock sounded at the door. "Torao?"

Law didn't answer, beginning to agitate the air inside his bubble. He needed to pass out. Soon. Now. He couldn't let himself be a monster. He couldn't let that strange, dangerous feeling grow. He couldn't do that to Luffy.

But the deep voice at the door didn't go away. "Law, I'm coming in."

He wanted to scream at the swordsman not to. But words wouldn't come. He knew Zoro had picked up on something. Of course he would, to see Law practically running away from Luffy. How much the green-haired man guessed, well, it seemed he'd find that out soon. A precise blade cut through the lock, and then the door swung open. And then closed again, and one of his chairs leaned against it.

The demon of the east had come to slay the monster.

Except, when Law managed to look up after a minute of nothing happening, Zoro didn't look angry. There was a softness to his eyes, even to the way he carried himself as he resheathed his white sword. Not affection, but... compassion.

"You were... assaulted, weren't you." It wasn't a question. More like a statement of fact, said with a gentle tone as Zoro sat against the same wall, just outside of Law's bubble. "I'm guessing, from that reaction, that you weren't much older than Luffy currently appears."

Law let the bubble go, trying to keep his face neutral, but he knew that his eyes would be red already, giving him away. "... what makes you think that?" More importantly, how did he know? Law hadn't told anyone about those days, not even his crew. Corazon had found out and had 'taken care' of the attacker before they left, but he was the only one.

"I've only seen or felt that particular strength of revulsion once before. Someone I met during my training who had that in their past and was worried they'd done something that resembled their assaulter," Zoro explained, too gently. "And you're curled up in the corner of your room, back to two walls, which is just about the most defensive position anyone can take. You're using your powers unnecessarily, which I'm guessing is to weaken yourself without hurting anyone since we know your powers play on your stamina."

Law didn't acknowledge the truth of that statement. He couldn't. All he could get out as he curled his legs up closer to himself was, "You need to stop me."

"No." The answer was too quick, too resolute. "I don't."

"I'll hurt him." Like I was hurt.

Zoro shook his head confidently. "No, you won't. You love him."

Law dug his nails into the sides of his legs as fiercely as he could, lowering his head so that the other couldn't see his face. "That doesn't mean I won't hurt him. Fuck! I shouldn't still want to kiss him when he looks like that!"

"Just kiss him? Do you want to fuck him like that?" The younger swordsman's voice held a neutrality that said he already knew the answer.

"...no." And he didn't, he realized with a twinge of relief. The one he wanted to push down was the older Luffy, with his bright smile and his peach-fuzz-chin and his abs and his scars. He'd wanted to kiss all over that adorable little face and hold him tight, but when his mind had turned to those too-big clothes falling off, it had been the older Luffy under them that he'd imagined and reacted to.