Smile

10

August 14th

I got here before Kai so now, it's just me and this cat on a bench. My head was spinning and my ears were pounding louder than my heart. Or maybe that is my heart.

"Moonie?" I look up to see Kai standing in front of me, the sun beaming off his back. "Are you ok? Is that blood?" I stared up at him, silently. His eyes darted across my body as he searched for the source of my problem. His hands hesitated but stayed at his sides.

"My head hurts." I murmur. "I'm sorry I didn't come back. I got caught up in some things."

"It's ok...you have a cat? Why are you covered in blood? Were you drinking?" I shook my head as he helped me to my feet.

"I don't drink." I mumbled, my body falling onto his. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around me. I could hear how loudly his heart was beating. It was fast and irregular as if he had too many emotions happening at once for his heart to keep up. "I left my flowers."

"I know. They're still on the counter. I'm going to take you to a hospital."

"I don't need the hospital." I hummed, shutting my eyes. His hand was rubbing down my back as if he was trying to wake me up. "I'm awake. I'm ok, Kai. I'm awake." His voice felt as if he was under water and he was slowly drifting farther away. "I'm awake."

...

August 14th

For some reason, my heart was beating out of my chest. I only heard her voice but I could tell something was wrong. I'll admit that I'm not the greatest person and I usually wouldn't care. I wouldn't even make note of any abnormalities. But when I heard her slightly lower in tone voice and her wobbly sentences, I wrote it on a billboard and carved it into my arm.

Just meeting her, after her simply telling me to, was out of character, hell, not fucking her on the first night I met her is out of character. Thinking about the person I am and the person I am when I'm with her makes me question if she'd have even bothered to help me that night. Even bothered to be my friend.

Like I said, I don't think I'm lying to her really. I think I am who I'm supposed to be when I'm with her and whoever else takes over my body when she's away is what life turned me into. But then again, can I really just blame life on what's happened to me? I don't know. I'll never know. But I know that Celestia is what I need and what I want. She makes me a better me.

I just need to make this better me available to the rest of the world...or maybe it can just stay for her.

I trudged up the hill, my eyes scanning over every face to check if it was her. I made it to the top and saw her sitting on a bench with a cat in her lap and her eyes staring blankly into the fur of said cat. When I stood in front of her she didn't even flinch.

"Moonie?"

She stared up at me, a blank look in her eyes, blood dripping from her forehead, and dried blood on her clothes. "Are you ok? Is that blood?" I wanted to reach for her, offer her some help, but just getting too close to her is some times too much for her and I don't think right now is the time to startle her to satisfy my own urges.

"My head hurts," her throat sounded dry and scratchy as if she was struggling just to get those few words out. "I'm sorry I didn't come back, I got caught up in some things." Her head dropped slightly before she looked back up at me, the slight squint in her eyes remaining.

"It's ok...you have a cat? Why are you covered in blood? Were you drinking?" Two unimportant questions muddled in between the important one. I held my hands out and she grabbed them, my hands clasping tightly around hers as my arms locked so she could use them to stand.

"I don't drink" She mumbled and as soon as she stood up, she fell onto me.

I felt the blood from her head soak through my shirt almost immediately. How she hasn't passed out yet, I'm not sure. I don't even know how long she's been injured. "I left my flowers." She spoke faintly.

I was almost speechless. She was worried about the flowers, not that she was bleeding from her fucking head. "I know. They're still on the counter. I'm going to take you to a hospital." I spoke to keep my mouth from going dry.

"I don't need the hospital." Her body went limp in my arms and she began to mumble incoherent sentences.

"It's ok Moonie. You're ok. Just stay awake." I repositioned her in my arms before lifting her legs up and carrying her bridal style. "I'm going to help you." Yes, I could call an ambulance. But they might take too long and I promise I can run faster.

I held her tightly in my arms and close to my chest, her head positioned in the crook of my neck. The only thing keeping my heart from dropping through my ass was her faint breathing on my neck.

I don't think I've ever run this fast in my life but I don't think a track star could beat me right now. I dodged through pedestrians and other random obstacles on the sidewalk. I know it's probably because of the wind but her breath on my neck was randomly disappearing and I was moving too much to actually check. All I could do was pray I wasn't making it worse and that I wasn't carrying a dead girl for three miles.

...

I wasn't. She's ok and if I waited any longer, or ran any slower, she would've died in my arms. It's been ten minutes since they admitted her and I'm just now breathing. I'm not allowed to go see her and since I'm not related to her, despite me being the one who brought her here, they won't tell me anything.

I thought about going to her house and telling her mother but then I thought about if I'd want my mother to know I was in the hospital.

She's an adult; if she wants her mom, she can decide when she wakes up.

I didn't plan on going home. Leaving her didn't feel right whether I was physically with her or not. Two hours of sitting in the stale and painfully cold waiting room turned into the sun setting and still no news. I could count the stretch of people left on one hand but it didn't help with how cold it felt, the sickly pale white walls reminded me of snow and the cold thoughts didn't help to warm my body

I can't take my mind off of how cold it is, even with other people on the room. It makes me wonder if she's cold. I know how thin hospital blankets are and how stingy they sometimes are with them. Im freezing and im hoping she's not cold.