Smile

11

August 16th

"You don't have to do that, I'm leaving soon." I stared down at Kai as he tucked the cover into the side of the bed. "You've done too much for me, Kai."

He continued to ignore me and instead chose to 'perfect' his tucking in skill. He bounced up, the focused look being pushed aside so the bright and bubbly Kai could appear. "This is what friends do." He beamed.

I hummed in protest. "I've never had friends that tuck me into bed. Have you?" I stared up at him, his innocence smearing across the floor and for a moment, the tiniest little moment, I could see something different in Kai. It's like he's wearing a mask thats slowly shattering, bits and pieces falling off and revealing what he's hiding from everybody.

I don't really care what the mask means or what he does with it, as long as it doesn't mean we have to stop being friends. Maybe that's not aligned with any morals or it's a mistake to think like that but I think that he's done enough good for me to ignore a couple of bad things—to a degree, of course.

"I don't think so." There's that adorable innocence. "I don't think I'd mind it but I don't know anybody who would do that." He chuckled, his eyes lighting up as I blankly stared at him.

"You said that friends tuck friends in so doesn't that mean you don't actually have friends?"

I guess my morbid thought process got the better of me or maybe it's my head injury but I wiped Kai's smile clean off his face. I didn't mean to but it's too late now.

It was silent as he we stared at each other. Neither of our faces moving as if we were frozen in time. Then, his face twitched slightly and he blinked like a fresh baby deer. "You wouldn't tuck me in?" He spoke seriously, his head tilting to the side.

"...of course I would," his eyes lowered, a sigh of relief and a slight chuckle flowing from between his lips. "That's what friends do." I responded slowly almost as if it was a natural response, one I didn't have to think about to be sure of.

It's out-of-character for me to say I would do something like that for someone. My whole experience with Kai is out-of-character but it feels natural for the most part. Some of it like a strong gust of wind that threatens to knock me over but most of it—like the conversation and just being around him—is simple like a sunny summer day.

When I think about how I would've died had I not met him (because be honest, this would've eventually happened no matter the cause) it solidifies my beliefs that I would follow Kai anywhere. I owe him my life now, whether I was sure I wanted it or not. No matter what he did, I'd be there to help him. I owe him everything.

...

I was getting ready to leave and Kai had gone outside to get a cab. I was pulling my socks on when my mother made a dramatic appearance.

"Celestia!" She cried, throwing her arms around me and forcing me into an embrace. "I'm so sorry baby. Are you ok?" She whined, the back of my shirt soaked in salty tears.

I questioned whether I wanted to speak to her. If I spoke, no matter what I said, good or bad, it would flip the switch in her mind that would make her think I forgive her or that I wasn't upset to begin with; that what she did was ok. The vengeful part of me that doesn't truly exist wants me to understand that what she did was beyond wrong and downright unforgivable but I, Celestia Branwen Hayes, have no urge to be vengeful against my mother or tell her what she did was wrong. I just want to leave.

"I'm..ok, ma." I spoke softly. My hand resting on the outside of her arm. "I'm...coming home soon."

She sniffled as she let me go and revealed a motherly smile and red dyed eyes. "I'm so glad you're ok," she pushed strands of my hair from my face, my skin chilling as her fingers grazed against my skin. "You've always been so clumsy." She mumbled.

My body stiffened at the sound of her accusation. "What?" Her eyes flickered toward mine, pure confusion spreading across her face. "What do you mean, baby? You fell! How else would this happen?" She questioned.

My eyes scanned hers, searching for anything hinting that this was a joke. That she was even just saying this to cover up for herself. Something that told me she knows this is her fault.

"You threw a beer bottle at my head...and left me."

She stared at me blankly. I watch as her face continued to stay stoic and emotionless and for the first time in my life, I wish she would just be angry at me, because then, at least, I'd know that she was just trying to continue lying to herself.

"...Celestia...I don't drink. Why would I have a bottle?"

I don't know what to say. I don't think I can say anything.

"I got the c-"

My mother and I both turned to see Kai standing in the doorway, his smile too fading at the sight of my mother. I know it's just shock and he has no clue about how she acts, the conversation we just had, or that she did this to me but it brings me the tiniest bit of comfort knowing he's not letting her see his beautiful smile; that she doesn't deserve it.

"Hi, I'm Kaito." He further approached us, his hand going out in front of him for her to shake and a small, sweet smile resting on the corners of his lips. "You must be Moonie's mother. It's good to meet you."

She stayed silent, her skinny fingers holding onto my shoulder tightly. She hummed before turning back to me. "Is this your boyfriend or something? Why is he here?"

"He brought me here. Two days ago." Her eyes widened.

"T-two days ago?" She stuttered, a smile flickering across her face as she chuckled, the feeling of embarrassment, that she loathes more than anything, settling in. Her lips curled in slightly as her nails dug into my shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me earlier, baby?" Her voice was stale but she tried her best to force a motherly tone to the surface.

I wanted to embarrass her. Ask her why I would tell the person who did this to me where I was. But I'm a coward. And because of that little needle stabbing the soft spot in my heart, I can't say that.

So I didn't say anything at all.

I watched as Kai glanced between my mother and her hands, the awkward smile that played on his face showing how uncomfortable he was. He stepped closer to me, slowly as if he was disarming a bomb or removing me from a hostage situation.

"Well," he placed his hands on my shoulders, my mothers moving away quickly as if his touch was poison. "I'm glad you know now...I'll make sure she gets home safe." I stood up and began to walk next to Kai, Kai quickly scanning the room to make sure I didn't leave anything without letting me go.

"What for?" My mother spoke harshly. "I'm her mother, she lives with me. I can take her home."

I looked up at Kai to see him looking down at me. His eyes pleading for me to tell him what to do. I haven't told Kai anything about my mother other than that she lives with me but by now im sure he's realized what kind of situation im in.

"She has some things to take care of...before she goes home, so I'll make sure she gets them done then she'll be on her way." He smiled as brightly as he could manage. His palms were pressed firmly against my shoulders and just from that I could tell he wasn't going to let me go even if she tried to pry me away.

But she isn't either.