Celestia wants to leave her home and get as far away as possible from her alcoholic mother. When she stumbles into a drunk man and helps him home, what happens when he becomes her way out?
#2 in Smile
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October 26th
"Kai?"
I hummed as I stared down at Celestia, her head laid on top of me. Her palms were pressed against my chest and her knuckles pressed into her chin. "Are you ok? You've been giving me this blank look for a while."
My heart pattered as I stared into her worried eyes. I don't know what to do. The last time this started, it started like this and if it goes how it did last time, she has every right to be worried. "...I'm ok. Just thinking about how beautiful you are." I squeezed my arms around her as I put on a lazy smile.
She continued to stare at me with that look in her eyes, not even attempting to pretend to believe me.
"Kai, tell me what's wrong."
Her body scooted up and across mine. Her hand palming my cheek as her thumb grazed over the tip of my nose. "Is it because of Jax?"
My eyes lowered as I held her a little tighter. "No." I replied plainly and as if that answered all of her thousands of questions.
"...I'm ok, Kai. Don't be worried about me. Nothings wrong with me." She spoke softly as she held her body slightly up on my chest, her eyes pleading with me to believe her.
"Why...do you only ever care about me? What about you? Why aren't you worried for you?"
Her lips flattened against each other as she relaxed in my arms. "Why do you only care about me? Why won't you care about you?" She answered quietly.
I love her. I love her because she's not like me at all. She's kind and forgiving and she cares. She's beautiful in every aspect and I can't not care about her. I'm a decent human being because of her.
But her mirrored questions told me that she feels the exact same way about me. She thinks I'm good. She thinks that I'm just as perfect as I think she is and she thinks that she's just as horrible of a person as I know I am.
"...Caring about me takes away from how much I can care about you." I spoke softly as i cupped her face in my hands. I chuckled as she leaned into my hands, her eyes saddening, "don't look at me like that, Moon..."
She propped her legs up and on the sides of my body as she leaned over me, her hair draping down and around my face as if it was a curtain holding us together. "But I care about you," she pleaded quietly, her eyes threatening with tears. "And if you care about me, you have to care about the stuff I care about right? And I care about you...more than anything else."
We could keep going around in an endless circle if we really wanted to about why we can't care about ourselves more than we care about each other. We both have our reasonings and we both probably believe they're different and that one is better than the others, but it's not. We aren't different. I can't care about her more than she cares about me because we are the same.
