Phakade Lami (My Forever)

Chapter 41

Chapter 41

HE Thinks that I don’t know about the medication that he was taking to clean out my children from his womb, I knew everything.
It all started years ago, three years into our marriage and I was checking through the surveillance camera, that was how I found out – don’t blame me but in the line of work that me and my brothers find ourselves in, SECURITY is a priority.
We have CAMERAS almost everywhere in our lives and their managed by an independent company that Nganono, used to work for... part-time.
Anyways I was done overloading my sperms into his glory hole and for those, who say that I miss, then you don’t know the Ronaldo in me.
That’s not even what hurts me 😭 the most, what hurts me the most, is that I have always hoped and prayed for a huge family with him, not Harriet and I thought that maybe just maybe, he Will stop taking the medication.

As a good husband, I understand where he is coming from but you see this latest one, the Nguni in me, will not allow it.
I am not going to sit down and watch him, take out OUR womb – yes it’s ours, after all what is his, is mine and what’s mine is his.

My brothers whom I sitting with, I haven’t even had a proper ‘talk’ with them, after they killed the owner of SpeedDial and I am pretty sure that they didn’t listen to me, and buried his body in that yard.
My blood has never boiled like that, I was so angry because we promised ourselves that we were never going to shed blood again.
But does this family of blood shaders ever listen?

“Zimele, We have heard, what you have said but... I think that we need to be sure, before calling his family,” that’s Mabutho.
The Father of the family, the man that always wishes or rather must have a final say in every matter.
He looks old.
He is now 43.
Grey hair already showing.

“Okay, I understand what you are saying but I am not going to sit down and watch my own husband partake in something that could rob me... or in all honesty rob us, as a couple... of having children,” I say.

“But you have Harriet,” that’s Nganono.
He has been quiet, considering the drama that came with Zithulele’s dreams or visions.
Angelina is not even talking to him and she has been sleeping in the main house, with the children and MaDlamini, our children’s nanny.
I heard that she shouted at him and said that this family is cursed, and in all honesty, sometimes I feel like we are cursed.

“I know I have Harriet... but I don’t see myself having children with her, just see how she has colonized my entire finance... simply because she has a son for me, now imagine if I have many children with her... please I want to live long,” I say.
I tried to love Harriet despite the fact that, she was my father’s choice for me and not mine, but our love ended that point, when she decided to play God and take the life of my child.
MY LOVE FOR HER ENDED THERE, so right now Mawami wants to do the same thing and yena, he wants to uproot the entire thing.

“Fine, we will send out a message to the Masilo Family and have them be present by tomorrow... but what will happen, if things don’t work out in that meeting Zimele,” – Mabutho.

“All I can say is that I will pray but whatever the outcome may be, it will have me at the winning table... I am not settling for two children and I am not losing Hector,” I say, with my stubbornness clearly written on me.
I can see that my brothers are stressed out because this is a person that they love and are even willing to die for, but unfortunately this is my future, in fact our future.
We grew up only 4 boys, we are not settling for 5 children, most especially now that my brothers are back to shedding blood.
That Life has no certainty.

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MARRIAGE IS NOT easy at all, but I have been pushing for 7 years now and I am not letting the rope go.
But am I not a human being and am I not allowed to make my own decisions and this time, ones regarding my own sanity.
I didn’t want to tell him but as my husband, he hand the right to know but I have made peace with it.
I am removing this womb, as soon as the matters regarding Zithulele, are solved – I end there.