Frozen 3

Chapter 7

Kristoff

The night had fallen for several hours. I was constantly turning in my bed, unable to find sleep. I stood on my back and sighed, while putting an arm on the pillow above my head. I looked at the canopy of my bed, lost in my thoughts. Ever since Anna was queen, she was becoming more and more distant with me, being constantly occupied with the affairs of the kingdom. At first I thought that my proposal would bring us closer together, binding us together forever. I was wrong. This new life with the one I loved was much more complicated than I had thought. We still loved each other – if not more – but we only had rare opportunities to see each other. Most of the time we were not alone and therefore could not enjoy a moment of privacy. The young woman obviously wanted to do the right thing and respond properly to her duty as queen but sacrificed a whole part of her private life, of which I was a part. I knew that this situation made her suffer, even if she tried not to let anything appear, always keeping her big smile and good mood that defined her. I missed her. I missed her terribly when there was only one hallway that separated us from each other right now. Just a hallway between our two bedrooms.

I stood up to distinguish the two clocks on which the moon's rays were reflected. Midnight and a half. It was late. But I knew it was my only chance if I finally wanted to find her. I got up, quickly put on a wool sweater and walked towards the door. The darkness of the night prevented me from distinguishing anything in the corridor. Everything was quiet. The staff also had to lie down, no longer considering their presence necessary. I slowly groped in the darkness, letting my fingers slide against the wall leading me to Anna's room, a few meters away. A ray of light appeared under her door. What is she still doing up at this hour? I asked. I approached and operated its handle as quietly as possible. I entered the room, closing the door behind me. As I turned around, I saw Anna slumped over her desk, which seemed to be deeply asleep. I walked towards her, being careful not to make any noise. Then I noticed a small trickle of slime running down her cheek. I could not help but smile. I lifted her head slightly, which had remained on official documents. Her saliva might stain them, so I removed them and carefully piled them on the corner of her desk. She must have been signing them before she fell from fatigue, I deduced from seeing her fingers still closed on her fountain pen covered with ink. I gently removed it from her hands, put it in its place and gently carried the young woman to her bed, avoiding waking her. A few strands of her hair had twisted around her crown. After patiently unraveling them, I removed her tiara from her head and placed it on her bedside table. Anna breathed a light sigh of happiness in her sleep. A small unconscious smile appeared on her lips. She was beautiful. Seeing that she had not bothered to remove her clothes, I passed a hand behind her back, one by one removing the ties of her long dress. I soon took it away from her completely and put it away in her closet. The young woman wore a still tight corset around her ribs and waist. I left it slightly, allowing her to breathe more easily. I didn't take it away from her completely, it was her intimacy and I respected her. It wasn't for me to do that, at least not at the moment. It was too early. I brought her sheets and her blanket with me, making sure she didn't catch cold. I tenderly kissed her forehead before rising. I took one last look at her and smiled as I watched her sleep so peacefully. I extinguished the small oil lamp that remained lit on her desk and left as quietly as when I arrived. When I was again in the hallway, I heaved a long sigh and let myself slide along the wall, until I found myself sitting, knees against my chest. I was happy that Anna was finally resting, as she wanted to take as few breaks as possible in her day. But once again, we had not managed to see each other, even for a few moments, a few minutes of shared happiness by a fireplace or to observe the stars through the window. Once again, I found myself alone in having to kill the time I had left on that cold, dark night. I placed the top of my skull against the wall behind me and closed my eyes. I had lived for years in nature, sometimes surrounded only by Sven and trolls, without any human presence. This kind of loneliness and lack of socialization with my peers never really affected me. But this time it was different. I was living in a castle, surrounded by servants who were present in case of need and objectively lacked nothing. Sven also enjoyed his comfort in the stables. We had everything to be happy. However, the love I felt for Anna, the feelings that were delightfully twisting my stomach and accelerating my heartbeat in her presence, was new to me. I had never had to face such feelings of happiness. But the latter seemed to be as fragile as blown glass, capable of metamorphosing in an instant into an immense pain, much more painful than all those years spent in the absence of other human beings. Without any special moments with Anna, that was how I felt for several weeks now. My heart seemed to be squeezed into a tiny cage, far too small to hold all the love I had for her. I had to restrain myself, wait and not let my feelings overflow from this cage which alone bore all the efforts I made not to yield to the temptation to keep the young woman to myself, finally allowing us to live our life together as we once hoped.

I stood up, leaning against the wall lined with burgundy red wallpaper. With a slow step, I crossed the long corridors of the palace and went down the stairs, heading towards the main door. I pushed the huge shutters that creaked slightly when opening. A breath of freezing air entered the castle and made me shudder. Not having planned to face the low temperatures of the night, I only wore a little thick sweater and not very suitable for the season. I walked a few steps, quickly went down the small stairs that led to the court and made my way to the royal stables. I raised my head while walking silently on the cobblestones and looked at the black sky studded with stars. I had never seen it so clear. No cloud covered it. I had observed it carefully for years with the trolls. They had taught me to read it by recognizing each of the constellations that composed it. I had attended many aurora borealis performances dancing on the celestial vault. But it was the first time that the stars stood so clearly from their dark support.  

I entered the stables and lit a small lantern with a match. I passed in front of the box of Anna's horse. The animal raised its head when I arrived and came to meet me, obviously curious. Having nothing to offer him, I looked for a possible treat. I saw a bag of apples just ripe next to the entrance. I took one and handed it to the horse who grabbed it without hesitation. I gently stroked his forehead as he chewed with gluttony. After a few minutes of cajoling him, I left him and headed towards the back of the stable at the end of which was a small stable. I pushed the door gently, now in one hand the lantern which I directed towards the inside of the room. Its dim light still made me distinguish Sven, lying on the terracotta floor. When he heard me enter, he joyfully stood up and approached me. The reindeer sniffed me up and down and seemed disappointed.

"No, Sven, I didn't get you any carrots," I told him, showing him my empty pockets.

He let himself fall heavily in a sitting position and pushed a moan of discontent. I laughed at his attitude and justified myself:

"It's not the time to eat, it's in the middle of the night!"

The reindeer gave me an unconvinced look, having certainly heard that I had given an apple to Anna's horse.

"Okay, I'll bring you some next time," I conceded.

He suddenly got back on his feet, moved the tail slightly while pulling the tongue, visibly happy. Sometimes I felt more like a dog than a reindeer. But our complicity went far beyond that. I did not consider Sven as an animal but almost as a full-fledged human being, as a brother I had never had. A dumb brother to whom I liked to give speech and assign different characters. I knew him since childhood and, when I noticed that he was an orphan like me, I understood that we were inseparable. I took the little guitar that I had left in the back of the stable and dropped me on a heap of hay. I thoughtfully played some notes. Sven came to lie down at my feet, seeming to listen to me. The melody at first filled with sweetness gradually became sadder. I sighed, thinking once more of Anna. My situation with the young woman haunted my mind day and night.

«Reindeers are happier than I am. Sven, why is love so hard,» I sang sadly in half.

What if I was wrong? What if all the happiness I had imagined with Anna was just a dream, an unattainable ideal? No, that couldn't be true. However, since Elsa had decided to stay in the enchanted forest, everything seemed more difficult and made me doubt my situation with Anna, sometimes going so far as to question my proposal. I loved the young woman more than anything in the world. Only, the harshness of reality struck me with full force and made me realize that Elsa had been somehow the founding element of our couple because she had always been present to manage the royal affairs, allowing her sister to spend as much time as she wanted with me. Now that the former queen was no longer there, Anna had to take her place, thus weakening the unstable balance that had settled between us.

I had stopped playing without realizing it. Sven had fallen asleep and snored a little. My tired fingers gently dropped the guitar. I completely relaxed my muscles and pushed myself a little more comfortably into the haystack. I yawned while blinking for the last time. I barely saw the flame of the little lantern next to the entrance extinguish little by little before sinking into a deep sleep.