Frozen 3

Third part

Chapter 46

Erik

How dare she? She had no qualms about ruining everything that had been hard built for generations. I tried too hard. Too hard to try to maintain a relationship that had no future. I knew that from the beginning. But I had stubbornly pursued it anyway, hoping that over time everything would work out. It hadn't. On the contrary, it had gotten worse over the days, weeks and months. We couldn't get along. It was all about the unspoken that remained silent until it came to light, reminding us how impossible it was for us to love each other. We tried, we pretended to let others see a model couple living in harmony. In vain. No one had been fooled by our comedy. We could see clearly in our game. But no one dared to approach the issue in our presence, preferring to close their eyes to our constrained relationship. I had done everything for her. Everything. And what had she given me back? Nothing. Nothing but reproaches and cold looks. She had left me. At the time, it had not been warm or cold. I had never felt anything for her after all. But as the days passed, a kind of dull anger was born in me and had become more and more widespread. She appeared without warning, as if to react to what was happening before my eyes: Honeymaren loved another. It was what I had initially believed, a little naively. And then one day this girl with the hair of a blond so clear that one could almost believe them white had visited me. I had never spoken to her and yet I recognized her immediately. It was Ryder, Honeymaren's idiot brother, and she who killed my father. She was so recognizable. My brother Isaak gave me all the description of his beauty after the drama. Until now, I had never paid attention to her, even though no other woman in the Northuldra village could match her – Honeymaren included. I had observed her at length, leaving her on the doorstep. My icy gaze seemed to destabilize her, so much so that she did everything to avoid crossing him.

«Is Honeymaren here?» she asked me timidly.

She didn't seem aware of our breakup.

"No, she's not here. What do you want from her? Had I answered her as coldly as possible.

"Oh... I thought that... It doesn't matter. I'll find Ryder in that case. He'll certainly know."

I had wove on behalf of Honeymaren's brother. My fists had clenched so tightly that my nails had sunk into my skin. My face must have hardened instantly because the young woman had frozen in front of my expression.

"Let me know if ever...

"She will not return," I said dryly, closing the door.

It took me a while to remember his name. But he finally came back to me the next night, waking up with a start: Elsa.

She had never really interested me. In fact, I had not really noticed her. Or rather, I had not sought to know her. But since this short discussion, I couldn't think of anything else but the young woman. I had no particular attraction for her, simply, she intrigued me. I had not stopped observing his comings and goings for three months, consumed by curiosity. At first, I thought I was getting tired quickly, finding nothing extraordinary in his actions. Yet in the past few weeks, something new had appeared before my eyes. It took me some time to understand what it was all about. But when I saw Honeymaren more and more with Elsa, I began to doubt. Their behavior was strange. At first they seemed to want to get closer to each other without anyone noticing them. Then, as time went on, everything had come to fruition. I did lose the Northuldra to someone else. But it wasn't quite the person I expected.

***

"What are you doing?"

I looked up. My little brother had just sat cross-legged in front of me and was staring at me insistently. Isaak had given me custody for the rest of the afternoon.

"I cut a stone.

"What is that for?"

The little boy came on all fours to me, leaned his tiny hands on my knees and leaned his head slightly to the side, curious. His big brown eyes did not leave what I held firmly between my fingers.

«I don't know yet», I answered her while ruffling her hair.

He looked perplexed before asking:

"Then why are you doing this?

"For you to ask me questions! Now go play and leave me a little quiet," I said sighing.

Adrian gave me a begging look.

"But I'm bored! I don't know what to do..."

I looked up to heaven.

"Please play with me..." he insisted, leaning over to me again.

"Go play by yourself!"

"I cannot..."

"Of course it is! Now stop your comedy and get by!" I annoyed myself by pushing him away violently.

The little boy was thrown back and fell to the ground on his buttocks.

"It's not fair ... You are really too mean!" he protested, with tears in his eyes. "Dad was playing with me!" I'd rather you be the one..."

I did not wait for the end of his sentence. His words were like a shock. I was seized with a violent outburst of anger at the evocation of my late father. I got up so suddenly that my chair was thrown to the ground in a loud noise. I pounced on Adrian, grabbed him by the shoulders and said in a firm tone:

"But because you think I chose what happened? You think I didn't think I'd rather be at the bottom of this fucking Dark Sea instead of him? And all because what? Because he crossed paths with two fools who could not save him!"

My little brother seemed shocked at what I said. He stared at me with an empty gaze that gradually filled with tears.

"Yet you know this story! I really didn't think I would need to repeat it to you! You saw the scene with your own eyes, you know the trauma we all suffered and you still dare to pronounce his name that way? He has always been a role model for all of us – including you – and it came down to him... So excuse me for not being in his shoes, if that's really what you regret!"

The boy burst into tears and tried to repel me in vain.

"Let go of me!" he cried between two sobs. "Let go of me!"

I did not release the pressure I was putting on his shoulders and continued shaking him slightly:

"You can blame me for not being as good a brother as he wanted for you. You can blame me for not having the right people around me. But..."

"Honeymaren was a good person!"

The slap left immediately, without even realizing it. It was only when I heard the snap of my hand on his cheek that I realized what I had just done. Adrian screamed. His face was red. He struggled in my hands and eventually freed himself from my grip, taking advantage of the inner emptiness that seized me and made me lose all lucidity.

The little boy took refuge in a corner of the room. He curled up on himself, squeezing his knees against his chest. He kept crying and buried his face between his legs.

"Don't ever talk to me about this... this..."

I could not finish my sentence. The door of the hut opened at that time. It was Isaak. As soon as he had entered, the little boy rushed towards him and hid behind his legs, clinging to his linen trousers.

"What happened?" he asked, seeing Adrian's reaction.

"Nothing," I whistled between my teeth, glaring my little brother.

***

It had been dark for a while. I could not sleep. Tired of turning in my bed without falling asleep, I got up and went to my bedroom window. Right across the street was Ryder and Honeymaren's cabin. I clenched my jaw so hard that my teeth almost creaked against each other. I could feel the anger coming out of my chest again. She came to cling to my heart, forcing it to accelerate its frantic pace, then clung to my throat, forcing me to restrain a cry of fury. I turned my head to the bed. That was where I had spent my last night with her. I remembered it perfectly. A bad smile appeared on my face.

«I promise you Honeymaren that I will personally destroy everything you love as you did for me», I whispered, not leaving the sheets of the eyes.