Chapter 63

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Elsa

What did I do?

A violent pain suddenly twisted my stomach. I winced, putting my hands below my ribs.

She'll never forgive me.

I let myself fall back on my bed. I felt my heart go mad uncontrollably in my chest. An unbearable sensation of turning forced me to close my eyes. I held my eyelids so tight that I soon felt tears forming at their corner. They slowly dripped down my cheeks, leaving a burning trace on my skin, before crashing on the sheet under my head. I saw behind my closed eyelids Ryder's face bent over mine, in the same position. The more I thought about it, the more I felt like I was choking, so my tears quickly turned into sobs. My stomach started to ache again, forcing me to curl up on my side. I opened my burning eyes. My hands were still shaking. I looked around. The whole room was covered with ice. I felt like I was ten years back, unable to repress and control my feelings. Something was different, though. Control didn't separate me anymore, I just suffered. The bed I was lying on was the only intact part of the room. The huge stalactites on the walls and ceiling moved dangerously toward it. The ice did not seem to come from me. It surrounded me and imprisoned me minute after minute in my own misfortune. I rose cautiously, putting my bare feet on the frozen ground. With a wave of my hand, I dressed in a long white dress as thin as a sheet of snow. I snuck in the middle of the huge ice peaks that blocked my way. As I reached the door of the room, one of them suddenly appeared from the adjoining wall, tore the thin fabric of my sleeve and hurt my arm. As I had quickly moved away, he only caused me a scratch. I came out of the room and ran through the corridor. The ice covered the walls as I passed. I threw myself at the front door and tried to open it. The frost had blocked it. I forced it as hard as I could, pushing the handle. The ice covered it little by little, preventing me from turning it. I stepped back and threw a frozen sheaf at the entrance. The wooden door did not resist and opened abruptly. I quickly slipped outside and ran on the yellowed grass. The night had just fallen and despite this, I knew that it was still an unbearable heat. That said, I noticed that I did not feel the cold. I had never felt the cold but the hot was different. I had always known him, until today. For the first time in my life, I had no sensation.

The centre of the village was already in darkness. I advanced to Honeymaren's hut and knocked cautiously at the door. No answer. The shutters were closed.

"If you're looking for Honeymaren you won't find her here."

I turned around, startled and found Erik leaning against a tree and turning a blackened branch between his fingers. He didn't look at me; he just smiled as he watched the piece of dried wood that kept spinning from his thumb to his little finger.

"That's who you wanted to talk to, wasn't it?" he replied casually.

I left, a little hesitant, the threshold of the hut and approached him cautiously.

"Where is she?" I asked in a firm tone.

"I don't know. She didn't come home after she saw you with her brother."

I had the impression that the ground was hiding under my feet. How could he know? Erik suddenly stopped the stick between his fingers and threw it on the ground. I tried to hide from him as best I could the nausea that was suddenly taking me. He then planted his grey eyes in mine and said in an impassive voice:

"On the other hand, I understand the poor woman. To be humiliated in this way by her own brother is difficult to bear..."

A hum in my ears prevented me from hearing his words clearly. Everything seemed to be falling apart around me. I stared at his lips to try to grasp what he was saying to me. But I heard only a grave and indistinct sound.

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