Chapter 62

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Iduna

"Can I know what's wrong with you?"

« Nothing. There is nothing. »

"Then why are you reacting like that? Why are you isolating yourself from everyone, and even from me?"

"I just need it."

I heard him sigh. He seemed exasperated. He knew nothing after all. Well, he did, but not the whole truth. I had deliberately omitted some of it. He didn't need to know at the time. A little chirp was heard at the back of the room we were in. Agnarr put his hand on my shoulder. I shuddered.

"Please Iduna..."

I could feel his warm breath on my neck. I turned my head. It was only a few inches from me.

"Tell me the truth. Why Elsa...

"I don't know," I replied soberly.

I noticed his suspicious gaze.

"You must know. You always knew.

"No. No, this time I don't know."

« It has to do with... your origins ».

"If that's what you were asking, yes."

He paused, waiting for me to continue. I hesitated, then sat down on the bed and finally resumed:

"Having fled my people to live and marry you, I have stirred up the fury of the forest spirits. When I got pregnant, they must have seen an opportunity to punish me, so they made Elsa...as she is.

"You can't say that! We wanted a child and we had it. It's beautiful and healthy. What more do you want?"

« She is different ».

"What then? You are, too, and that is what makes you charming."

I knew Agnarr wanted those soothing words. But deep down, it only revived old pains that I thought I had overcome.

"Not everyone would think the same. There are only four of us in this kingdom who know where I really come from. They all think I'm coming from a distant kingdom with whom you would have made a wedding ring. If you let the truth out, if you told your people I was a Northuldra, how would they react? He would call me a witch, as he has done for centuries about mine. They are all afraid of us because we are different. Should I remind you?

"Not me. I am not afraid of you."

« But the rest is. They will fear Elsa as they fear me because of our difference. The spirits know it and play on it to remind me every day of my fault. For now, it's just a baby, we can keep this secret between the walls of the palace. But when it grows and its difference is revealed to all, how will they react? They will try to kill her to eradicate all forms of magic."

Agnarr sat beside me, without a word. I could feel the tears in my eyes.

"And you know what hurts me the most about all this?" I whispered, staring at my trembling fingers. It's that every time I look at her, I feel responsible for all the atrocities that will happen to her. When I see her pale skin and feel her cold body against me, I feel like I have a dead baby in my arms. And I can't help but think that one day or another, I will feel responsible for this death for giving it life in this context, because they will kill it, for sure.

« Nothing will happen to her. We will protect her, no matter what."

A tear came crashing on my hand.

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