Chapter 57

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Ryder

The sun was rising, giving the sky a pretty orange hue. I stood up cross-legged, grimacing because of a terrible backache. I had slept there, under the stars, in the middle of my reindeer's old enclosure. Of course they were no longer there. I made the decision to release them, not having the courage to see them all die one by one of hunger or heat. No one had paid attention to it and so much the better. They would certainly all blame me for doing so, believing that reindeer could be an important source of food, but whatever, it was my choice and that of most other breeders.

I looked around. Everything seemed dead, I was the only trace of life in this desolate landscape. Only the sky added a touch of bright color among the blackened trees and dry grass. But all this had become habitual for all of us for a long time. It wasn't that that left a bitter taste in my mouth for several hours. I had it since I left our cabin. I didn't know why I let Elsa and Honeymaren spend a whole night alone. Something inside me had told me that it was the best thing to do, I was too much after all, but I had to be violent to contain the tears of jealousy and rage that had gradually filled my eyes. The two young women had not addressed me a single glance, completely absorbed by their reunion. I didn't want to imagine what had happened that night, it was too much to bear.

I heard someone jump over the fence behind me. Whoever it was, I didn't care and didn't turn around. One approached me with a decided step then I felt a hand resting firmly on my shoulder.

"What are you doing here? You should be with your sister, right?"

The deep voice surprised me. I looked up and immediately recognized Erik. I jumped up and pushed him away, driving his hand off my shoulder. Fists in front of my face, I was ready to attack him if necessary, even if his build was twice as imposing as mine.

"Hey! Calm down! What's wrong with you?" he laughed at my reaction.

I remembered perfectly what he had done to my sister.

"What do you want?"

My aggressive tone did not seem to worry him because he kept his smirk at the corners of the lips. I tightened my fists a little more in front of his insolence and felt my jaw tense.

"Speak, nothing more," he replied, raising his hands as a sign of peace.

« Why? »

« I think we both misunderstood each other »

"Are you kidding me?"

"Not at all. We have more in common than you seem to think.

"Quote me in one!"

"Well, I don't know.... We both have...how to say...a little problem with Elsa."

I froze when I heard the young woman's name. Erik must have noticed that he had hit a nerve because he insisted more:

"I find it difficult to win back Honeymaren and you love him but you don't dare to tell him. Is that right?"

I released my fists slightly, stunned.

"What do you know?" I asked suspiciously.

« Why would you leave last night if you didn't? You can't stand them kissing and being in bed together, can you?"

A lump formed in my throat. I felt worse and worse.

"You never liked Honeymaren," I said.

"Oh, yes?"

« You just took advantage of her for months and one day you let your real face show by hitting her. Why would you want it back now even though you are unable to love it?"

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