Freaks: Year One

Worries

"Well, guess who is a tutor!" Jasper exclaimed as he sat on the couch next to Harry who was working on an astronomy essay by the looks of it.

"Hmmmm." Harry rubbed his chin in mock thought. "Me?"

"No...wait, are you a tutor too?" Jasper asked, wondering if he had missed something. To him, them being both tutors would be pretty cool.

Harry laughed. "No Jasper, I was joking." He went back to his essay. Harry didn't think he would make a good tutor. "Who is it?"

"Anthony Goldsparks asked me to help him in flying so I said yes."

Harry nodded. It made sense that Jasper would be asked to help with flying even though he was only a first year. "That sounds good."

Jasper looked at the piece of parchment paper Harry was working on. There were several books out in front of him, all of which were different subjects. At this, Jasper was confused on what subject he was doing. "What are you working on?"

"An astronomy essay." Harry replied.

"Then why do you have Potions, History, and Transfiguration out?" Jasper asked, as he looked at all the textbooks lying there on the table.

"For studying after." Harry said.

"Exams are in June, it's January." Jasper reminded him. "You have time."

Harry dipped his quill in the ink again. "I just want to make sure I do well, you know?" He wanted to get really good marks, because he felt like he needed to, if he didn't he was just a failure. Harry did not care that it was months away, he had to do well. It worried him. He always got nervous about school, as he hadn't had the best education. Making sure he did well was important, and one way to do that was to study. "I think it is a good idea that we all start studying soon anyway."

"I just want to get good at Defence." Jasper murmured.

Harry looked over. Jasper had been having a bit of trouble with Defence Against The Dark Arts. Even though he could already do a shield charm, he still had trouble with other types of defensive spells. Harry noticed Jasper was really upset about it, but it was only the first year. He would get better, they all would. "Well, try asking Professor Tutman next week?" Harry suggested. "I think he was just busy because it was the first week back."

So Jasper tried the next class, but got the same answer. "Later." Professor Tutman was even acting odd in classes, and all the Hufflepuffs were confused about this. Harry thought Professor Tutman seemed not all there, and not in a mean way, just that he was generally confused about what he was doing.

"Do you think Professor Tutman is okay?" Maryrose asked as they finished Defence Against The Dark Arts for the day.

"He is acting weird." Dorothy said, Venom perched on the top of her head.

"Maybe he's not feeling well?" Gifford tried.

"Well, I hope he gets better." Harry said, looking through the notes he had made that day. "He needs to as exams are coming up, and we need to be prepared–"

Jonathan groaned. "Harry, they are months away."

"We need to be ready."

"I agree." Jasper said. "Defence is the most important class. We need to be prepared for anything."

Jonathan rolled his eyes. "You're talking like there is a war going on or something. Relax."

Jasper closed his eyes. He felt angry. He didn't want to be, but his stress level had risen due to Tutman not being aware of anything, and he was worried that his plan was out the window now. Sure exams were months away, but he needed to be good at Defence so he was able to defend himself at home. He needed to protect his brothers from harm. He already felt like he was letting his brothers down as he wasn't even with them. They were in danger in that house, and him leaving was a bad decision, but if he was able to protect them year round then it would be worth it right?

What if they were not okay? What if Toby was lying when he said they were all okay? He needed to know a shield charm, a strong one. and if Tutman didn't help, what was he supposed to do?

There may have not been a war in the Wizarding World, but there sure as hell was one at home.

A hand tapped his shoulder, breaking him out of his thoughts. He tensed a little, and he hoped Maryrose hadn't noticed. "You okay Jasper?" Maryrose asked. Her eyes were full of concern.

"Uh – yeah." Jasper said, shrugging it off. "I'm going to the owlery." He adjusted his book bag, thinking that writing a letter home would make him feel a bit better. Or worse. He didn't know. He just wanted to be alone. "I'll see you later."

As he was walking he heard Penelope say, "I think you made him upset."

Harry watched as Jasper walked up ahead. He was thinking about following him, but he had a distinct feeling that Jasper needed some alone time. It was probably because exams were coming up soon, (well in his own mind) and even if there wasn't a war, it sure felt like there was one.

Between the heightening of the importance of blood purity, and the Slytherins always making nasty comments, it probably came as a shock to Jasper. He just found out he was a wizard in the summer. He was still new to all of this. He was not expecting when entering the Wizarding World to be oppressed due to his blood status. To be stared at, picked on, cornered in the halls, and called slurs behind his back or even to his face.

Harry also knew Jasper really wanted to be good at Defence Against The Dark Arts. And as Jonathan said, there was no war, but Harry was not sure if Jonathan understood why it was crucial to be good at self defence. Purebloods weren't going to be confronted, or cornered in the halls. Yes, they were in their first year, but that didn't matter. Blood purists, and other bullies were not going to leave you alone just because you were a kid, in fact, you were probably the easiest to pick on. Harry knew that firsthand.

Jasper walked up to the owlery. I'm not upset, I still have time. He kept telling himself that to hopefully lower his stress levels. It was only January, but the way Tutman had been acting since they arrived back from the break made him uneasy. He may have to take this matter into his own hands if Tutman wasn't back to normal soon.

He did end up writing a letter to his brothers. Jasper really wanted them – any of them to tell him about how their school was. They never did. Toby would give him the basics. Jasper wondered if any of them had made friends yet. With him gone, there could be a chance, right?

But he then remembered what Toby had said when he was home for the Winter Break. You know how it was last year. Jasper really wished he hadn't caused so many problems that even when he wasn't there, it still affected his brother's school experience.

Hopefully, Toby was having a better second term. Hopefully, all his siblings were having a good second term because having friends at school, and having nice teachers made the days more bearable. School was an escape for each of them, and Jasper hoped that they were doing okay.

Jasper stood at the owlery, surrounded by many owls. They all seemed completely fine with him. Why were owls so particular? Idiots. He watched the sun peek out throughout the clouds. There was a new layer of snow as it had snowed that morning. The breeze blew his black hair, and he watched as the Whomping Willow swayed slightly, the tree seemed at peace, and here despite everything, Jasper felt at peace too. Hogwarts had changed his life. He had made friends, friends that were like him, and understood him. He felt happier than he had in all his life. He was finally safe. The only thing that would make it perfect is that if his siblings were with him, but he was holding onto the fact that they would be magical too.

He sighed, and stared out holding onto that thought. He needed to look on the bright side. Magic was going to help his family, he knew that. He hoped one day, his brothers would finally have a sense of security – a place where they could be normal kids. A place where they could all be safe, and be a proper family together. Magic was one of the things that was making it possible.

In the future he would laugh at this memory, to think the magical world would solve his problems...